Wednesday, August 20, 2014

More Mormon TV



by ldsbishop:


Previous installment can be found here.

Summer is almost over, the days are getting colder and the nights are getting longer. Lock your kids in their bedrooms, put your snuggie on and settle down to watch the latest and best Mormon TV shows.

Stake of Thrones
Fantasy drama following the many stories of the members of the Westeros 2nd Stake. Stories include that of Brother Robb Stark, out to get Stake President Joffrey who had Robb's father released as the Stake Executive Secretary. Also see Sister Daenerys Targaryen get lost on a YW camp hike.

24
Brother Bauer is a veteran member of the High Council. His talks seem to go on all day and make people want to commit acts of extreme violence.

Food Storage Wars
When the local supermarket goes out of business, members of the Relief Society engage in physical fights to get a good deal on a case-lot of kidney beans.

50 Shades of Grey
Lengthy review of the suits worn by your favourite General Authorities. This week, Dark Charcoal #18 as worn by President Henry B. Eyring during the April 2010 General Conference.

Elder Pythons Flying Stake Roadshow
Wacky revue featuring your favourite sketches. Includes "Nobody expects the Stake Disciplinary Council" and "The Quorum of Silly Walks."

Man vs. Food
After recent employment problems, Brother Richman is inundated with meals provided by his local Relief Society. He feels obliged to eat them all, in spite of gaining 300lbs over the last three months. The latest episode sees him attempt to eat 5lbs of Sister Jensen's famous "all beef" lasagne in one sitting.

Orange is the New Black
Tense drama where Brother Larry turns up at a ward council meeting wearing an orange suit he purchased at a flea market. He gets released as the ward mission leader the very next week.

ElderBob Squarepants
Join eager missionary Elder Squarepants and his companion Elder Patrick Star as they try to teach their investigator, Squidward. Will they be able to meet the baptism goal set by President Krabs?

The Church is True Detective
Brother Rust Cohle (Matthew McConaughy) and Brother Marty Hart (Woody Harrelson) take it upon themselves to scour the Facebook and twitter posts of their ward members. If they see anything they think is subversive (photos of members wearing tank tops or drinking diet cokes) they report it immediately to the bishop.

The Tonight Show with Brother Fallon
Brother Fallon better get through his celebrity interviews and hit-and-miss, mildly amusing sketches quickly because the Holy Ghost goes to bed at midnight and therefore, so should he.

Modern [Mormon] Family
"Comedy" about a rich, predominately white, middle-class family. They probably live in Orem, Utah. Brother Dumphy is a counsellor in a Young Men's Presidency. Funny, yes, but bears no resemblance to the rest of the world where real people live. So, quite a lot like Orem then.

It's Always Sunny in the Philadelphia YSA ward
Sitcom following a gang of YSA as they try to make their way in the world. Danny DeVito plays the creepy guy who is way too old to keep attending the YSA ward, but his bishop is far too nice to tell him to leave.

Stake Dancing with the Stars
Competition to find the best dancers at Stake Youth Dances around the world. Points are awarded for ensuring a Book of Mormon distance between the couples and the sweatiness of the guy's hands.

Branch of Cards
After being overlooked for a calling, Brother Underwood, along with is wife Princess Buttercup, schemes to overthrow the Branch President by manipulating the Branch newsletter editor.

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ldsbishop grew up in the land of Shakespeare, Milton and Monty Python. Looking for some culture, he moved to Utah for a while where he seduced his future wife with his accent. They now live back in the UK. He was called as the Bishop of his ward in his mid-twenties. That's where the similarities between him and President Monson end, though he can also wiggle his ears. He and his wife are the parents of two sons, the type of boys that have people suggesting we need more talks on reverence. He keeps his sanity by tweeting his thoughts under @ldsbishop.

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