Guest Post: Stay-At-Home Dad

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Have something to say? Anyone can submit a guest post to Modern Mormon Men. Just send us an email with your post, a post title and a paragraph of introduction (on yourself).

Josh Weed writes a humor blog, The Weed, where he talks about things like colonoscopies and the cannibalistic tendencies of his four-year-old daughter. He is a marriage and family therapist and an aspiring novelist. You can also follow him on twitter, or read his first guest post here.

I don't care what anybody tells you: being a stay at home parent is the easiest job in the world.

I will heal you

I know this because on Thursdays, Wife plays "grown-up" and goes to our therapy office to do billing and paperwork and taxes and filing and a bunch of other stuff I don't understand because, hey, I'm a therapist who listens to people talk not a business guru, okay? I'm a healer.

Here's the thing. I have learned on Thursdays when I am the stay at home dad that being a stay at home parent isn't the life-sucking chore people claim it is. I know you've heard many people (mostly women, let's just face it) say that it's "hard" or that it "exhausts" or that at times some people "want to pull their hair out" or "get on the next train to South America" because it's so demanding or whatever, but the truth is, my experience has been nothing like that. And I refuse to stand idly by while so many people try to claim this job is "the hardest job on the planet."

It's not.

It's freaking easy.

Let me break down a typical "Stay-at-Home Dad Thursday" for you.

Mom vs. Mom

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by May Jones (bio)

Ever since the whole Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney media firestorm (I've always wanted to use that expression), I've noticed a lot more videos and articles featuring moms being posted on Facebook. Now, it could be that they were always there and I'm starting to pay attention more, given recent events, but a few of them have caught my eye. This article in particular left me speechless. The author states that motherhood as a form of feminism is "dangerous." She compares women who choose to breastfeed their infants more than a few months to animals. She claims that women who spend more time with their children are less happy. They should focus less on those children and focus more on figuring out how to be sexy for their husbands. I wish I was kidding about this, but I'm not. Pretty ridiculous.

As for me, I think it's fabulous that today, women can choose to work away from home, paid at home, unpaid at home, part-time, full-time, or freelance ... the options are there! And that's not even taking into account all the profession choices. My eleven year-old daughter changes her mind about her future line of work on a weekly basis. A few days ago, she came home from a field trip to a water conservancy plant/nature walk declaring that she would be a botanist. I love that she is unaware of any limits or constraints.

The days are long past when a woman has had to say, "Hmm, factory worker, farmer's wife, nun, or woman of the night, what's it going to be?" And even then, not really having much choice in the matter. We're doing much better today.

Guest Post: Remembrances of Primaries Past or Dog Day Tuesday Afternoons

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Have something to say? Anyone can submit a guest post to Modern Mormon Men. Just send us an email with your post, a post title and a paragraph of introduction (on yourself).

Reed Soper was born and raised in southern California. He considered attending the Lord's University but opted for BYU instead where he met Kathryn Lynard doing his home teaching. They married in 1992 and have seven children. Friends and loved ones often describe Reed as "difficult" or "a slow learner." In his spare time, he likes (virgin) pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Check out Reed's 2011 MMM Post of the Year.

I am old enough that all my primary years were spent in the "pre-3-hour block" era (1)(2). Those days can be considered the "salad days" if you hate salad. What it meant was a weekly disruption in my post-school afternoon cartoon watching (3), a 30-minute drive to the church, about an hour-and-a-half of music and religious instruction, followed by a return 30-minute trip home. As a child, much like now, I was entertained by shiny objects, blinking lights, explosions and firearms. Sadly, primary lacked all of these. The trauma of it all has repressed but a few memories and I would like to share those with you today.

Primary always began with some music instruction and an opportunity to sing to children who were visiting and those who had birthdays. During most of my primary years, I had nodules on my vocal chords. This resulted in my voice being raspy and hoarse. These nodules were like calluses that had been formed from overuse. I (well really it was my mom because I was 8) was given a couple of options for dealing with this. One was surgery to remove them and the other was for me to talk quietly and sparingly. The surgery option was frowned upon for a few reasons. The biggest reason was that it would cost money. The next biggest reason is that the surgery tended to only temporarily resolve the problem. So we went with the quiet boy option. A third option was to ignore it and have an awesome raspy, hoarse sounding voice forever (4). I, like most young boys, used this diagnosis purely to my advantage. I maintained my big mouth throughout most of my usual activities (and do so to this day) but when it came to singing time, I had a golden ticket. I didn't have to wish the birthday children a very happy day from me to them or welcome visitors with song. I also didn't have to learn or practice any of the primary songs that we might be singing in a future sacrament meeting. Do not fear, intrepid reader, this excuse has not left me wondering what color the little purple pansies were dressed with (yellow-gold), or how often the little stream gives (all the day). The excuse did, however, provide me with opportunities to let my mind wander.

MMM Search Term Roundup 5: September 2011

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by Scott Heffernan (bio)

When someone finds Modern Mormon Men via search engine, we get to see what they typed to get here, giving us a small glimpse into the thought processes of those who happen upon our site. I think our readers need to see these, so I'll be sharing them monthly. Some are funny, some are sad, some are disturbing. Maybe we can work together to give some context or help answer some of those curious questions. WARNING: Although some of the more explicit entries have been excluded, saucier phrases that are included have not been edited. See them all here.

who is the mormon blogger named uncle something
You must be thinking of Uncle Ben. He’s not a Mormon though. Actually he's not a blogger either. He makes rice and/or gives sagely advice to his nephew, Peter Parker.

"trail of diarrhea"
It makes me happy that someone found our blog by typing the exact phrase, "trail of diarrhea."

do colds effect men more than women
Kind of a ridiculous question.

my boyfriend bought lucky overalls
Run. Run like the wind.

mormon ghosts

30 Strangers Portrait Project: 2012

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by Seattle Jon (bio)

via Justin Hackworth Photography

MMM tries to highlight worthy causes, especially if they are somehow related to one or more of our contributors. Examples have included The 5000 Days Project, an LDS Philanthropies project for single mothers and the recent fundraiser for Luciano. Justin Hackworth's 30 Strangers Portrait Project is now officially on the list.

I've written about this project before - my wife and daughter were chosen to be photographed in 2011 - but now it's your chance. Visit Justin's blog to read more about the project and the institution being supported, and if you're available for the shoot, leave a comment and maybe you'll be picked as one of the Strangers. The deadline is tonight, so hurry over!

Giveaway 10: Used Church Books

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Seattle Jon lives a few blocks from what has to be one of the few Deseret Industries outside of Utah. With fewer members around to pick over the church books, he is constantly hoarding buying. Some have got to go. For this giveaway, he is dipping into his collection to offer the following used church books to one lucky winner.

• The Story of the Latter-Day Saints (James Allen and Glen Leonard)
• Mothers of the Prophets (Leonard Arrington and Susan Arrington Madsen)
• Science and Mormonism (Melvin Cook and M. Garfield Cook)
• Brigham Young: American Moses (Leonard Arrington)

Giveaway Guidelines:
• You have 5 days to enter (closes Friday, May 4th at midnight).
• Each person has THREE chances to enter. Each option requires a SEPARATE comment.
   - Leave a comment (anonymous comments ignored).
   - Like our facebook page.
   - Share the giveaway via Facebook or Twitter.
• Winner chosen via random.org and announced May 7th.
• Winner needs to respond via email with their address by May 11th to claim the books.

Everyday Mormon Writer & The 2012 AML Conference

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by Scott Hales (bio)

Last month, James and Nicole Goldberg, my accomplices in the Mormon Lit Blitz, began an excellent new Mormon literature website that's worth checking out. It's called Everyday Mormon Writer, and its goal is to "[publish] works that everyday Mormons have time to read and that are worth their reading time." Like the works featured in the Mormon Lit Blitz, these works have no more than 1,000 words and are selected because of the way they fuse faith and creativity without succumbing to cheesiness and sentimentality.

Already Everyday Mormon Writer has featured four poems, two short stories, and one piece that defies categorization. I highly recommend that you check out Jonathan Penny's short story "Ascetic" and Douglas Staker's poem "Gyroscope." Also, because I am not ashamed of self-promotion, I strongly recommend that you take a look at my short story, "Album." which was featured on the site a few weeks ago.

For the moment, new works are appearing weekly, usually on Friday. In time, James and Nicole hope to post one work a day. Creative writers who are interested in being featured on Everyday Mormon Writer can submit their work by following the instructions here. Also, those who wish to make a monetary contribution to the effort can go here. This money, as I understand it, will go towards funding future Mormon literary contests.

So, check it out. Subscribe to it. Support it. It's a good cause.