Sunday In the Rockaways

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by May Jones (bio)

In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, I suffered a little bit from survivor's guilt. Here on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, we watched on our fully-powered televisions in our well-lit living rooms as our downtown neighbors lost all power. Then, the next day, we saw the horrific scenes of homes on fire, coastlines obliterated, and cars completely underwater. We felt relieved, of course, but also somewhat helpless. So close, yet so far away. Some displaced families were brought up to live in our schools and we were able to provide a bit of relief in the way of clothing and toys, but we still wanted to do more. We started collecting donations to send in vans out to the hard-hit coastal areas of New York. Then, two weekends ago, thanks to Mormons Helping Hands, we got to go out to the Rockaways ourselves to pitch in.

On Sunday morning, bright and early, my step dad and I drove out to Plainview, NY, to a stake center there. When we walked into the cultural hall, about a hundred members of the Nashua, New Hampshire stake were sitting in folding chairs singing I Know That My Redeemer Lives. Everyone was wearing work boots and jeans and sweatshirts and several people had on bright yellow shirts or jerseys inscribed with the Mormon Helping Hands logo. The early morning sacrament meeting service consisted of the passing of the sacrament, a stake counselor reading a few scriptures, and then testimonies offered by those who had been out to the site the day before. We finished by singing Called to Serve. It was one of the most memorable Sunday morning services I've ever attended.

Afterward, we got our team assignments and drove out to Belle Harbor in the Rockaways in Queens. Other stakes met us there, including my own, as well as other non-member friends who wanted to help. Our team was assigned to two missionaries, who led us to our first house. I saw many missionaries throughout the day, with their name tags pinned to the front of their jerseys. They have been working day in and day out for the past three weeks and I wished their parents could have seen them out there.

My first impression of the area was that it felt like a war zone. Large trucks barricaded the ends of streets and piles of debris were everywhere. At our first house, we transported water damaged belongings sorted into huge piles in the backyard to the dumpster across the street. The homeowner shared with us his feelings of being overwhelmed at having to basically sort through his whole life and try to figure out how to replace it. And all with no power. Every time his wife came outside, she repeated, "Thank you so much, thank you so so much." With our team of ten, we were able to clean up the backyard in less than an hour. I know that if it had been my house, I would have gone out and stared at that pile for days, just trying to figure out where to start. I was happy that we relieved them of that burden, at least.

Mormon Helping Hands

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by May Jones (bio)

Joshua Brown, who hails from my ward, made this video on Sunday, November 11th, when Mormons across New York cancelled a portion of their church services and arrived to help the areas affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Please share this video with any friends and family that might be able to help. Not only at the Rockaways, but Staten Island, Long Island, and New Jersey. The church is coordinating the efforts, but anyone is welcome to come help. For more information about this and other ongoing recovery efforts please visit Mormon Helping Hands NYC.


Mormon Helping Hands :: Hurricane Sandy :: Rockaways, NY from Joshua Brown on Vimeo.

Mom vs. Mom

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by May Jones (bio)

Ever since the whole Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney media firestorm (I've always wanted to use that expression), I've noticed a lot more videos and articles featuring moms being posted on Facebook. Now, it could be that they were always there and I'm starting to pay attention more, given recent events, but a few of them have caught my eye. This article in particular left me speechless. The author states that motherhood as a form of feminism is "dangerous." She compares women who choose to breastfeed their infants more than a few months to animals. She claims that women who spend more time with their children are less happy. They should focus less on those children and focus more on figuring out how to be sexy for their husbands. I wish I was kidding about this, but I'm not. Pretty ridiculous.

As for me, I think it's fabulous that today, women can choose to work away from home, paid at home, unpaid at home, part-time, full-time, or freelance ... the options are there! And that's not even taking into account all the profession choices. My eleven year-old daughter changes her mind about her future line of work on a weekly basis. A few days ago, she came home from a field trip to a water conservancy plant/nature walk declaring that she would be a botanist. I love that she is unaware of any limits or constraints.

The days are long past when a woman has had to say, "Hmm, factory worker, farmer's wife, nun, or woman of the night, what's it going to be?" And even then, not really having much choice in the matter. We're doing much better today.

Pretty Darn Funny: An Interview With Lisa Valentine Clark

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by May Jones (bio)

I recently sat down to Facebook chat with my dear friend Lisa Valentine Clark (LVC), who is starring in the new web series, Pretty Darn Funny, brought to a computer near you by Deseret Book. I thought it would be fun to get an exclusive behind the scenes look at the transmedia show. Lisa is a mother of five, the wife of MMM contributor Topher Clark, and an all-around amazing human.

LVC: Sorry I’m late! I started cleaning the front closet and got overwhelmed and kept going and going …

May Jones: No worries! How’s the closet?

LVC: Almost beautiful. Almost. No one will care or notice. BUT I WILL.

MJ: I’m going to interview you now!

LVC: Okay, this is weird … and funny!

MJ: So, I’ve been seeing stuff out there about prettydarnfunny.com. What exactly is it?

LVC: It’s the website for the webisode “Pretty Darn Funny,” but also the site to enter our contest, and to check out blogs, Pinterest and Facebook pages of the characters. Basically, it’s a place to find some funny stuff!

MJ: You play Gracie Moore in the series. What can you tell us about her? Is she similar to you? Different?

LVC: Well, Gracie used to be in a comedy troupe in college, she's Mormon and committed to teaching her kids and raising them the best way she can. Her husband is busy a lot, and she wants to have fun and is fulfilled by being at home but would be lying if she said she didn't miss being on the stage every now and again ... So, in those ways we're similar. But she has 3 kids and doesn't mind a messy house, so that's where we differ!

Mormonism and American Politics

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by May Jones (bio)

Image via here.

This past weekend, Columbia University hosted an event called "Mormonism and American Politics: A Conference." Since Columbia is just up the street from me and the conference was free, I felt compelled to go check it out. Plus, two of my fellow ward members, Richard and Claudia Bushman, were presenting.

Upon arriving at the conference, I was struck by how many people were there, and I only recognized a handful of them. As the sessions progressed, I became aware of the fact that the presenters and audience were made up of almost equal parts members and non-members. At one point, a guy who was asking a question of one of the presenters introduced himself as non-LDS, and said he was studying Mormonism. I was intrigued. I was also appreciative of the overall feeling of respect for our religion that permeated the conference. Everyone was there to learn and to explore the many aspects of the LDS faith.

I was almost brought to tears by Sister Bushman's account of the oral history project she worked on in Claremont, California (Being that Claremont High is my Alma Mater, I might have been a little bit more sensitive to the subject matter.) She collected oral accounts of LDS women living in California during the Proposition 8 campaign. As she recited their stories, I could sense the anguish they felt at being torn between obedience and their personal feelings. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been, and I'm grateful that Sister Bushman had the wisdom to record their thoughts.

Peculiar

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by May Jones (bio)

gilles vranckx - walking backwards in the wind

I'm doing it backwards.

I got married as a junior in college, had my first baby before I graduated, then three more while my husband was working full time. We built a house and sold it and went back to law school with four kids. By the time he graduated, we had sold both our cars. Last year, we moved out to Manhattan with our children and a few possessions and a job. Nothing else. My husband is a first year associate at a big law firm and we live in a two bedroom apartment. No cars, no second home, no savings, no college funds. My daughter just started middle school this fall. I'm thirty-four years old. To our New York city peers, I am a baffling creature. The way I am living my life goes against all reason. I'm supposed to have my Masters and ten years of an esteemed career under my belt, be having my first baby about now, maybe my second. I'm supposed to own a house in Westchester County and I'm supposed to spend my summers in Italy or France. I'm not supposed to buy all my coats at Target. Or have all four of my kids sharing a room. I am doing it wrong.

MMM Halloween 2011

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May Jones as The Invisible Woman (Hiding from her Four Kids?)

Scott Heffernan & Aimee's Monkey ... Scott Hales' Buffy & Vampires 

Pete Codella, Kids & Tank (Weimaraner) ... Ken Craig & Family (They Have 7 Dwarfs)

Seattle Jon as Jimenez the Jeweler & Kids (SF Giant, Jedi & Old Maid)

MAB's Kids Continuing the Tradition Internationally

The Wizard and I

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by May Jones (bio)

The year was 2000. It was June and I was eight months pregnant with my first child. I thought that when I wore my overalls, no one could even tell (a picture taken on the night I went into labor proved me horribly wrong, and I believe I burned the things after that. Please don't ever let overalls on grown women be a "thing" again, fashion gods.)

For my major, I had to earn one credit working behind the scenes on a main-stage play. I guess that's how they try to teach us actors what the crew members go through, so we're more compassionate toward them. I think it must have worked, because I've been known to bring gummi bears to my stage manager.

I signed up to help with costumes for a British farce that all my friends were in, as I figured being hugely pregnant was as good a time as any to be an awesome crew member. Most of my work was before and after curtain, so I had a LOT of down time backstage during the show. I got my hands on a copy of a little children's book called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone because people wouldn't stop talking about it. For some reason, there was a full mattress lying on the ground backstage. Most nights, between the hours of 7:30 and 9:30, I could be found lying (on my side!) on that mattress, wearing my techie uniform of a black t-shirt and black stretch pants, engrossed in that little novel.

Eleven years later, I was sitting on a subway next to my eleven year old daughter. "Hey!" I exclaimed to her, "You are exactly the same age as Harry was when the books started!" And then it hit me. These books and movies had been with me for my entire parenting life. Having just seen the final installment of the final movie that morning, we had now come full circle. Where would we go from here? I couldn't believe it was over.

Six in the City: Subway Door-Hogs (or, Why Important People are Allowed to Break the Rules)

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by Max Power (bio) & May Jones (bio)

Max Power and May Jones live in Manhattan with one (paying) job, four children and zero dogs. They are mormons. These are their stories.

Max Power: So, once again this morning, my fiery indignation was kindled toward those people who seem to believe rules of social order are only applicable to them to the extent they are also convenient to them. Yes, as you probably have guessed, I am talking about subway-door-squatters.

May Jones: Ah yes, the “important” people who hover around the subway doors like they’ve been sworn to protect them. As if they won’t be able to nimbly hop off the subway in time carrying only their tiny man purses. Sure, block the way for those of us who have to muscle through the crowds with a four year old on each arm. We have a MUCH better chance of making it out in time! You don’t have to share the public transportation with 10 million other people. It’s all yours!

Max: (Sounds like I struck a nerve, May.) The best is when you get two such VIPs each occupying one half of the entry, leaving only a sliver of space between them. And then they just glance at you disinterestedly as you try to board/exit. “Oh, no, don’t move into the middle or anything. All 20 of us who have been waiting for ten minutes for this train will just grab the next one.” I mean, believe me (I frequent these trains every day) I know how desirable the door spot is. Unlike some people, though, I listen to the train driver repeating the same plea AT. EVERY. SINGLE. STOP: “Please step all the way into the train.” (Hint: she’s talking to you, door-hog.)

May: Why can’t people just be rule followers, like me? In the suburbs, it was the agony of the elementary school drop-off line cutters. You know the ones I’m talking about. And I’m sorry to say it, but most of the offenders were/are men. Why are their days more important than mine? Alright, so I’m not headed to Wall Street to change the world. But I am transporting a Cub Scout (future rule follower, like his mother) to his meetings and that should be worthy of some respect, amirite? These subway VIPs are also apparently concealing their secret lives in the theater, because you should see them roll their eyes and hear them make loud huffy noises when they have the incredible misfortune of getting stuck on the stairs behind a small child. Here’s an idea: go around! I’m sorry, but my daughters’ legs are twenty times shorter than yours, they can’t sprint down the stairs like there are free Krispy Kremes at the bottom. I admit, sometimes I’m really sold on the mob mentality and I grab both the girls so they’re clinging to me in an awkward hanging fashion and try to dash down myself, but not once have there been donuts. SO not worth it.

Max: I have to admit it—I am one of those platform-stair-sprinters; only I run out of the subway station. Maybe it’s the clean(er), fresh(er) air wafting through the openings just beyond the turnstiles, but the mere sight of the platform exit triggers an inner-animal instinct to race out of the subway and break into a Joseph Gordon-Levitt from 500 Days of Summer dance routine. But I definitely don’t huff when I see a four-year-old in front of me on the stairs. Let’s face it—given the relative scarcity of kids in this city, there’s a decent chance that any four-year-old I get stuck behind is one of my own. In fact, from the frequent reactions of people riding on the benches opposite us on our way to church Sunday mornings, you’d think a family with four kids deserves its own reality show.

May: Mmm hmm. They point, they gasp, again with the dramatics! Now I know what celebrities feel like, and it isn’t easy, you guys. All the staring, all the looks, everyone appraising your every move. I feel so exposed. No one stares at the guy walking four dogs in the park. Maybe I’m just walking all these children for other people. Yes, they all uncannily resemble me. Maybe that’s why the moms hired me.

Max: And it’s not just individuals—the Metro Transit Authority similarly has no idea how to process the concept of a family with more than 2 children. [Inside the prepaid MetroCard project planning meeting]: “Hey, Boss, we need to set a maximum number of swipes at one turnstile for the prepaid cards to keep people from selling bulk discount swipes on the black market. Pick a number... Let’s just do 4. Who on earth would ever need more than that?” [Cut to dad standing outside said turnstile frantically swiping his card for the fifth time after sending the four kids through, which kids are splitting off and heading for various wrong trains]: “*&$%, *$^#, @#%!”

May: So ... um ... maybe on occasion I have been guilty of standing right by the subway doors myself... But it’s a tough town! Survival of the fittest! (I’m important, too...)