The Retro Man

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by jjplant (bio)

This is my first ever blog post, and I must admit this is the only blog I have ever looked at other than my wife's family blog. So please be patient with me as I am trying to figure out both what is kosher to post and the culture of the blogging world.

I'll be honest, I probably won't share many jokes for the sole reason that I have three to five jokes I just recycle between crowds, and if put them on an open access website I would lose all of my material. I will also not reveal my political colors, because I myself don't know what they are. I envy people who are confident enough in their political opinions to express them publicly, a confidence I have always lacked. In essence I am a political chameleon.

So for my first post I was thinking of writing about retro man. Who is retro man? He is that guy we all see who wears vintage clothes including thick framed glasses and chucks; he owns a bike from the 50s and is up on the latest "un-mainstream" music. I admit that I tried and continue to try to be that man. In fact, I once realized that if I had any chance of courting my wife over nine years ago I would have to become that man. However, I think my version of retro man is missing a critical component. It is easy to google "vintage looking glasses" and fulfill the outward appearance of retro man with your credit card number. It is much more difficult to fulfill the inward traits of retro man. These retro characteristics include: chivalry, taking pride in your work, understanding the importance of community, speaking with respect, honoring the elderly and valuing the importance of family time.

So, in a public attempt to complete the true retro man ensemble (in a similar attempt to court my wife), I will promise to try and not only dress like a retro man but act like a retro man.
Image via The Sartorialist

Mothers-In-Law

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by Seattle Jon (bio)

Mothers-in-law are created when you get married, so when I married Charlie my mother-in-law came into existence. At least for me she did. Anyway, this created a dilemma. Does my mother-in-law deserve the same attention on Mother's Day that I give to my real mother?

For many years I thought no. Then, a few years ago, I heard that you can rearrange the letters in "mother-in-law" to read "woman hitler." I remember thinking, "Hey, that's not fair. Mother-in-laws might be evil but they don't deserve to be compared to him!" From then on - in addition to mentioning the anagram to my mother-in-law as often as possible - I stopped thinking no and started thinking yes! Mother-in-laws deserve attention, too.

So, this post is for Nana, my mother-in-law, my woman hitler. I love you. Image via contraband.se

30 Strangers Project

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by Seattle Jon (bio)

Charlie and my ten year-old daughter were chosen to be a part of Justin Hackworth's 30 Strangers project for 2011. He photographed them while we were in Utah recently for my youngest sister's wedding, and they both came home from his studio glowing. Personally, I think Justin did an amazing job of capturing their personalities.

More pictures: here
What is 30 Strangers?: here
Justin Hackworth Photography: here

Image via Justin Hackworth Photography

The Uniform

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by Scott Heffernan (bio)

I chose not to where a white shirt when I blessed my baby boy a few months back. The point of this post is not to debate whether one should wear a white shirt or not. The white shirt uniform debate has been discussed at length here, here, here, here, and here. I’m just not a huge fan for various reasons and I chose not to.

I was (and still am) totally comfortable with this decision. However, I have to admit, in the back of my mind I was a little worried that the bishop might care or say something. We’re relatively new to our ward so I wasn’t quite sure his level of frigidity (or if this is something some bishops even get uptight about). I knew the bishop would be in the circle along with some of my friends and family, and understood that I’d probably be the only one without the white shirt.

Well imagine my delight when I walk into the chapel, look up on the stand, and see the bishop donning a full-on boy scout uniform. The whole getup! We’re talking green pants, belt, tan short-sleeve shirt, shoulder loops, sewn patches, and yes, a plaid neckerchief complete with slide. I generally get pretty nervous before public speaking, but I was definitely more relaxed after seeing him. The scouting program has never appealed to me (also not the point of this post) and I guess I don’t take it very seriously. I think that’s why I found this so funny.

Our ward has a custom of the father taking the mic and introducing the people in the circle prior to the blessing (I’ve never seen this before, but I like it). I started introducing friends and family and as I got to the bishop I said, “And here’s the bishop...looking sharp.” It got a chuckle, but had I been more on my game I would have thought of something more fitting like, “Here’s the bishop...always prepared.”

Images via Indochino and Scouting.org

Parenting Style: Discipline or Compassion

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by Bitner (bio)

For those dads and moms out there trying to find their parenting groove (I can't be the only one, right?):

In the last couple months the following two parenting articles have "crossed my desk." The first to arrive was "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior?" written by a (surprise!) Chinese mother. The second: "Godly Parenting: Compassion for Humanness," written by a Mormon man whose last name starts with God-. And by the way, by contrasting the two parenting styles, I'm not stating that one style is more "godly" than the other. Although that may be the case - you decide. I actually found both articles to be incredibly useful as I try to become a better parent. You might too.


Consider the following excerpt from Chinese Mom:

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.

On the surface, a term like 'override their preferences' smacks of compulsion, force, and agency violation, no? We Mormons revere the principle of agency. But, in the context of parenting, is this act of overriding preferences truly a violation of agency? Perhaps parents are "allowed" (meaning God approves) to override a child's preferences?

My Bum: A Story of Mistaken Identity

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by Ken Craig (bio)

One night, whilst in college, I went out on a first date with a girl named…hmmm… It started with an E. (I cared for her, deeply, as you can see.) Elaine? Elizabeth? Anyway, we were walking through a park, fairly close together, but with our hands in our jacket pockets, as it was a fall evening, and the weather was pleasantly cool. When out of the blue, Ellen (?) says, “Tell me your deepest, darkest secret.”

I did not care for this.

Firstly, I had known Ester (?) for about two days. Who was she to demand to know my deepest, darkest secrets? Was I to automatically trust this attractive, though virtually unknown woman at face value? A woman who had not shared her deepest, darkest secret with me? A woman who found it perfectly acceptable to walk through a park and consider it a date? A woman whose name started with an E! (Edie? Electra? Ebony?)

But secondly, and most importantly…I didn’t have any deep, dark secrets. Unless you count my extensive Huey Lewis & the News CD collection. (And I don’t.)

I’ll never know what Edwina (?) was probing for that day. But I have attended a number of social gatherings since then where people play such “get-to-know-you” games where you are required to recount, in great detail, information you would not normally or casually put on display. “Deep, dark” information, as it were. Only now it is masqueraded as “What’s your most embarrassing moment?”

Well, I happen to have one.

Guest Post: Famous Mormons…or Not

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Aaron from North Seattle is a bishopric member, father of two and one of the most modern mormon men we know. When he sent in this guest post, we made him promise to send more. Enjoy.

Mormons love to tell non-Mormons about famous Mormons. If you’re a football fan, a Mormon must mention that Steve Young is a Mormon; if pressed he or she might mention Ty Detmer. Mitt Romney and Orrin Hatch get mentioned in the conservative political arena. Mormon democrats [cough, sputter] will mention Harry Reid. Until recently, ex-football player turned Little House on the Prairie actor Merlin Olsen was the top actor mentioned. Now we’ve got Napoleon Dynamite to give us some tots. Gladys Knight, David Archuleta from American Idol and Stephanie Meyer of Twilight fame can keep us entertained. The catch is that we generally don’t claim someone as Mormon unless they are “active” (which I personally think sounds like a term for a terrorist cell). This is why poor Paul Walker and Alice Cooper don’t generally get mentioned.

Mormons are kind of like Canadians in their need to mention famous Mormons (e.g. “Hey, did you know Brian Adams is Canadian?!”). I think it stems from some kind of persecution complex, which dates back to getting kicked out of Missouri and Illinois. We feel the need to validate our beliefs by associating ourselves with famous people that aren’t fringe weirdos like the rest of us. If we can get enough famous people, maybe everyone will stop thinking we’re a cult, right? Maybe if Canada can produce enough famous Canadians they can stop being the United States’ little brother.

This must be why there are so many rumors about people that are Mormons that aren’t really Mormons. I can’t tell you the number of people that have tried to tell me that Steve Martin is a Mormon (“No! Seriously! My brother’s girlfriend’s cousin baptized him in California, I swear!”). My personal favorite Mormon rumor is NBA player Shawn Kemp – his demeanor on the court must make him an obvious candidate, right?

Where do these rumors get started? Are people just confused? Are they too trusting? In an attempt to rationalize this in my Mormon brain, following is a list of people that aren’t Mormon, but for whom I want to officially kick off the rumor mill. I’ve also included a little embellishment on their conversion stories, as I think it adds longevity and stickiness to the rumor. So if you hear any of these from someone at a later date, you know where it came from – please give me credit:

Dennis Rodman - had all tattoos removed after hearing President Hinckley speak.

Kim Jong-Il - didn’t have to lean back during baptism, just squatted slightly.

50 Cent - got interested in the church because his name is a common denomination for children’s tithing payments.

Paul Revere - was coming from his baptism just prior to his famous ride.

John Wayne Bobbit and Lorena Bobbit - sewed things up in their marriage and were later sealed in temple.

So please, spread the rumor. Remember – there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Governor Boggs probably had no idea of the far reaching implications of his actions.

Image via ystrapilipina