Sanctum Sanctorum

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by Ben Johnson:

I'm sure that this post will make me out to be one of those "get those kids off my lawn" guys, but I'm OK with that. A recent post by Seattle Jon got me to thinking about the sacred spaces (or lack thereof) in our lives. When I returned home from my mission my stake president gave me some very sage advice. He said, "In this noisy world we live in make sure to take time out to meditate and allow the spirit to speak to you." This was in 1998, before everyone had a smartphone attached to their hand and headphones grafted to their ears.

It seems that no matter where we go we cannot escape the world. We cannot shut out the noise. This worries me. I've always said that if I were ever bishop (perish the thought) my first order of business would be to restore some tranquility to the three hour block. Every ward I've ever attended resembles Pamplona in July when sacrament meeting lets out. It's mayhem.

Back when I had the best calling in the world I used to make the ward programs. We had the first block and I loved going down to the church early to run my copies and then sit in the chapel before the meeting started. Unfortunately my peace never lasted. As the families arrived for church they inevitably began to chat. As more families entered the chapel the conversations had to get louder. Eventually I felt like I was in the lobby of a theater during intermission.

Even the temple can be overrun by noise and distraction. How often have you gone to the temple and heard fellow patrons loudly discussing the most recent sports contest, or last week's hunting trip, or national politics? Can't we have at least one place in our lives free from worldly nonsense?

#firstworldmormonproblems

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by Ben Johnson:

Everyone has heard of First World Problems. I don't think anyone has ever done First World Mormon Problems. I'd humbly like to submit a few. Enjoy!

• The foyer was full and I had to sit in the chapel.
• Ugh, the block time is changing to _____. That is the worst time to go to church!
• Really, you are giving us dipped chocolates for Mothers' Day??
• The 40-inch TV in the bishop's office won't connect to WiFi so we'll have to use the iPad for the lesson.
• Temple was closed for cleaning and I had to drive 12 minutes to the other temple (South Jordan FTW!)
• I forgot to charge my Kindle so now I'll have to pay attention in sacrament meeting.
• The WiFi in church is too slow to show videos for my lesson.
• Only one copy of the picture "Moses parts the Red Sea"? Worst Materials Center ever!
• Gospel Doctrine class was full and I had to attend Gospel Essentials.

That's all I can come up with for now. Anyone else have any Mormon problems they'd like to add?

The New Testament Story That Scared the Cr@p Out of Me

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

I'm surprised all evil spirits don't have a beard

Back in the early eighties (1981 I think) the LDS church came out with the Scripture Stories for Children tape series. I was about six when my parents bought me the New Testament version of these tapes. Every night I would go to sleep listening to the stories of Jesus and his miracles. There was one story, though, that scared me to death. It was the story of the man with the evil spirits (Mark 5:1-20). The pictures, the music, the narrator's voice--all these things terrified my little mind.

As the years went by my memory faded, and I wondered what I would think if I were somehow able to listen to these tapes again. Every now and then I would dig through my parents' junk or check Deseret Industries or search around online to see if I could find these things, all to no avail.

In June of this year our family moved to Phoenix. For some reason our records got sent to a ward we weren't planning on attending. Rather than have them moved again we decided to just stick it out. I'm glad we did. While wandering the halls of our chapel one Tuesday night (my son's pack meeting was too boring sit through) I noticed that the library door was open and no one was inside. I figured that since I used to be a librarian I had an obligation to go in and check things out.

Materials Center: You're Doing it Wrong

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

The Vatican Library

One of the first posts I ever wrote for MMM was about being called as the ward librarian. As I mentioned in that post, my testimony was nurtured by the books that I found in the various meetinghouse libraries throughout my mission. I was disappointed to learn that not all libraries had troves of incredible church books. Then, when I got my calling as librarian, I was even more disappointed to learn I'd be in charge of a 'materials center.' How can you be a librarian without a library?

I didn't know this, but they weren't always called materials centers. I recently came across this talk by Howard W. Hunter in 1971 where he introduces a new (correlated?) church library program. From what I can tell, not all meetinghouses has been built with a library, but from then on they were. Then somewhere along the line someone felt guilty about calling a room without books a library and the name was changed to Materials Center.

But one thing stood to me out from Pres. Hunter's talk. He said, "If we are to teach one another, if we are to seek wisdom and learning by study and by faith, we must organize and prepare every needful thing. These words form the basis upon which the idea of the meetinghouse library is conceived—to 'prepare every needful thing' for more effective teaching."

It seems to me that preparing every needful thing goes beyond having some chalk and a map for your lesson. How much more riveting would Sunday School be if your teacher could check out a copy of any of Skousen's Book of Mormon tomes? Or bring to class the library's copy of Rough Stone Rolling by Bushman? Or quote from the dog-eared copy of Givens' By the Hand of Mormon? Or use the library's laptop and projector to hit the Joseph Smith Papers website?

Lets think even bigger. Could the heartbreaking story of Han Mattsson have been different if his ward's library was actually a library with decent church books? What about all the people that go to the web to find some supplement for their lesson and are crushed when they come across polygamy or the priesthood ban or Mountain Meadows for the first time? Would the story be different if they first encountered those concepts at church?

So here's my humble proposal. Let's get rid of answer four and bullet point six and get some good, high-quality books in our libraries. Let's also get some good, high-quality brothers and sisters to staff the library. Brothers and sisters who know church history and love teaching it. Let's turn our libraries into more than a room that dispenses unnecessary coloring pages for primary kids. Let's turn our libraries into libraries.

What's the Big Deal with Polygamy Anyway?

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

Image by Karli Plant

I had originally planned on doing a post on this a year ago but I held off. Now that polygamy is in the news again because of what is going on with gay marriage (see here, here or here) I figured I could dust this off. Way back when I was a guest poster I had published some emails my brother and I had exchanged on the topic of inoculation. Below is another thread we had going on polygamy. What had sparked the conversation was an ignorant explanation from Glenn Beck about why we Mormons practiced polygamy (this was during Romney's campaign for the presidency and Beck was trying to normalize Mormons I think).

The question I had for my brother (and what I want to put to you folks) is this: aside from getting kicked out of the church, what's wrong with polygamy?

As a side note, I don't want anyone to think I'm advocating for a return to polygamy. I'm not. I'm just curious why polygamy is viewed in such a negative light in today's society.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

To: Brother
From: Ben

Sorry, I just heard more Glenn Beck's explanation for pgmay. He said, "When the Mormons got to Utah and they weren't persecuted anymore, p'gamy stopped." Nothing could be further from the truth. 1852 was when it was publicly announced by Orson Pratt. I don't get why Glenn would not know this. Heck, the OD at the back of the D&C makes it explicit that we were doing it until 1890. We even did it after that but not publicly.

To: Ben
From: Brother

Speaking of odd things said about polygamy:

Plugging From the Pulpit

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

ABC: Always Be Closing

Do you remember President Gordon B. Hinckley's October 1998 talk To the Boys and to the Men in the priesthood session of general conference? If you can remember back that far, do you recall him saying this: "Now, brethren, I want to make it very clear that I am not prophesying, that I am not predicting years of famine in the future."

I don't know why but that line has always stuck out to me. I remember after the meeting remarking to my dad that "if Pres. Hinckley would have said that he was prophesying I bet store shelves across the country would be empty tonight."

Do you remember when Pres. Hinckley announced the Perpetual Education Fund? I happened to be in the conference center when that happened and it was electric. A thrill went through the congregation.

Do you remember President Thomas Monson's general conference talk where he lowered the missionary age for women and boys? Or when he announced a temple to be built in Rome, Italy? After both of those announcements there was a wave of chattering in the conference center. People were excited.

I bring all this up to make what is hopefully a legitimate point: we Latter-Day Saints love it when our prophets and apostles speak, especially when what they are saying is a bit outside of the norm. Every conference we hear about tithing or service or not looking at porn. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to tune that stuff out because it is repetitive. But if something comes out of their mouths that is different our ears prick up and we move to the edge of our seats.

I believe this makes them cautious when they speak. I believe they know that we can get carried away with their words. If you doubt me look at what happens when Pres. Packer gives a talk in a stake and mentions the second coming. Emails start flying across the internet and people start getting their food storage gathered. We sometimes have itching ears.

Bloggernacle: Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover ...

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

"Hi, my name is Ben and I'm a Bloggernacle-holic. It's been 30 minutes since my last look."

I have a long history with the Bloggernacle. I honestly don't remember when I first started but it's been many years. I also have a rocky history with the 'Nacle. Sometimes I love everything I read, including the comments. Other times I want to punch it in the face and lose its phone number. In the end, though, I always come back.

I think the trick is moderation, not necessarily with time but with content. There is only so much one can take of 100-comment-producing screeds. Sometimes you need to lighten things up. I'm not kissing tookus here, but that's one of the reasons I like MMM. There's a nice balance here.

Not too long ago I decided that in order to participate in the Bloggernacle and maintain my own sanity, I needed an outlet. Thus Astute Doofus was born. Astute Doofus is my lazy attempt at blowing off steam and having a good time. Admittedly, the attempt is crude and sometimes not well thought-out, but don't let that stop you from dropping in for a few minutes. I'd love to have you.

Currently my plan is to post something every day until I run out of ideas or I quit the Bloggernacle for good (yeah right). But for now, please stop by and take a look around.

As a side note, I am working on what will be the greatest post in internet history. When it goes up at Astute Doofus I'll let you know. It will be worth checking out.

Our Ward Primary is Thinking of Banning the Scriptures

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

That was a shameless attempt to get you to read the rest of the post. In reality, the primary in our ward is thinking of banning electronic versions of the scriptures.

My wife is the stake primary president and one of her duties is to train and support the ward primary presidents. During one such training one of the ward PP's mentioned that she was having trouble keeping the kids engaged during sharing time and during class because of, you guessed it, electronic devices.

I won't go into the details as to why electronic devices are such a problem in primary because you surely already know the reason: the kids are just like the adults! How many of you, like me, have checked sports scores during a lesson, or sent an email during sacrament? How many of you, like me, have decided that 'Kindle-ing' WVS's disquisitions on priesthood are more interesting than the testimonies on fast Sunday? While our electronic devices are very handy, they can be very distracting.

I'd like to put a question to the group: what would the consequences be if our ward primary banned electronic devices? Would the kids be somehow deprived? If so, how? Now let's take it a step further. Imagine that this Sunday your bishop reads a letter from the First Presidency, the gist of which is you are discouraged from bringing your electronic devices to church. Basically, stick with the old leather and paper. What are the repercussions, if any? Is the net effect good or bad?

While I love my phone and Kindle and would probably cease to function without them, I can't help but wonder if leaving them home on Sunday wouldn't be better for me. Granted, this is more a problem with me than the electronics, but I'd love to hear some different perspectives on this.

Electronics on Sunday: blessing or curse? I would appreciate any thoughts the MMM community has.

Why I Don't Think Women Will Pray in Conference ... Yet

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

When I was in college I took a course called Philosophical Issues in Feminism. Incidentally, it was the only A I received in my four years at the university. During the semester I remember thinking, "This is great and all, but how are you going to reach Sally Jo Smith in Koosharem, Utah? She's not going to care, let alone understand, why women's comportment in magazines is a big deal. Nor is she going to get her dander up over some glass ceiling when she hasn't ever set foot in an office building." My takeaway was that all of this was fine for ivory tower feminists talking to and publishing with other ivory tower feminists, but if you want to call folks to your cause you've got to sell it and sell it well.

Which brings me to All Enlisted. If their goal is to bring about change within the church I think they are going about it the wrong way. I personally think they would have had a better chance getting a woman to pray in conference if they hadn't organized "Wear pants to church day." Whether intended or not, that brought negative attention to the church. In my mind, there was no specific goal (women could already wear pants to church). It seems the sole purpose was to highlight their perceived lack of equality within Mormonism and it gave everyone an excuse to laugh and point. Right or wrong, I think All Enlisted now has a negative 'reputation'. Anything they agitate for now has a stigma attached to it, no matter how noble or right.

Which now brings me to having women pray in conference. A great idea. It is specific, no doctrine has to change to implement it, and you have President Kimball backing you up. I hate to say it, but I don't think it is going to happen because the movement is attached to All Enlisted. It's akin to having a heated discussion with someone you don't like. Even when they make a good point you don't want to yield because you just can't give them the satisfaction. Not to be too crass, but the church has a brand to protect. Do you think they want to be known as the organization that caves to every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a Facebook page and 1,200 likes?

Imagine the mayhem that would ensue if a woman offers a prayer in conference this April. The more liberal members would chest thump and crow about victory and immediately start planning their next attack. The more conservative members would get angry and perhaps even waver, questioning how leaders with a direct line to God could be swayed by a small group of people with Twitter skills.

I don't want to seem like I'm trying to dump on All Enlisted. As I said, I think having a woman pray in conference is a great idea. I look forward to the day. I just think we are farther away now than we were a week ago. Whether you agree or disagree your comments, as always, are welcome.

Que Injusticia!

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

No one likes to be dealt with unjustly. Most of us can accept losing if we feel like we tried our best and just came up short. It's not pleasant but at least you had a fair shot, a chance at winning. It's something else entirely when the deck is stacked and you don't have a chance. What do you do then?

Several weeks ago I took my motorcycle to the local shop to have some work done. When I picked it up I noticed a crack in the fairing that hadn't been there when I dropped the bike off. I questioned the service manager and his response was, "That was there when you brought the bike in."

Immediately I felt the anger well up in my heart. I was about to be taken advantage of and there was nothing I could do about it. My mind raced in a thousand directions: How do I respond to this? Do I know any lawyers? Could I prove the crack wasn't there when I brought the bike in? Do I drive by the shop at night and throw a brick through their window?

I also felt conflicted and embarrassed. The natural man in me said I should be furious and I should seek revenge and 'no one takes advantage of me!' The spiritual man in me answered that prayers are offered for manipulators, cheeks should be turned, and coats and cloaks are a package deal. 

Every man chooses for himself what path to take but as Christian men it seems to us more like a tightrope. Too far to the natural side and your soul cankers and wears out from always taking offense. Too far to the other side and you become a doormat and a joke. I'm not sure where the balance is. Even looking at the Savior's life we see the contradiction. The same Man who flips over tables and whips scoundrels from the temple also stands silent while being mocked and beaten.

In the end, after a few days of back and forth with the service manager, I took my bike and went home. I feel cheated. There will be no satisfactory resolution forthcoming. The fairing is still cracked and won't be fixed. How can I forgive and move on now that every time I ride my motorcycle I will see a big, fat injustice staring back at me?

The Worth of a Soul is $752.3 Million

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

In the book Starship Troopers an interesting conversation takes place between a soldier and a professor at the military academy. They debate a hypothetical situation where, after a protracted and vicious war between two countries, prisoners are being kept by one side. The question posed to the soldier is "are a thousand unreleased prisoners sufficient reason to start or resume a war?" Without hesitating he answers in the affirmative. The professor then says "Very well, is one prisoner, unreleased by the enemy, enough reason to start or resume a war?" This time the soldier isn't so quick with his response. After much thought the soldier comes to the conclusion that the worth of just one man is sufficient reason.

What if the conversation was about souls instead of men and we were talking money and not war? What do you suppose one soul would be worth? Let's think about this in terms of something we can relate to. How much money do you think the church spends each year on missionary work? I’m talking about keeping the lights on at the MTCs, printing copies of the Book of Mormon, running the I’m A Mormon campaign, pass along cards, other radio and TV advertising, etc. Add that all up and you are looking at a check with a lot of zeros on it.

Someone cleverer than I could suss out a fairly accurate dollar amount and then divide into that the number of convert baptisms each year. That would give you how much we spend for each baptism. Do you think there is some sort of 'return on investment' that the church has to have in order to continue to spend the money on missionary work that they do? Would the church spend that amount of money if they knew they would only baptize 10,000 people? 500? One?

MMM Mail 3: Today's Young Men

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We received the following question from Whitney, author of the blog The Life of a Mormon Teen.

Q: What do you think today’s young men need to know?

A: Ben Johnson

No one likes a preachy old man so I am going to deviate a bit from the original request. Instead of telling young men what they need to know, I'll tell the young men what I wish I would have known when I was their age.

1 - High school doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, despite 40000 clichéd movies that say otherwise.

2 - Girls in high school don’t matter as much as you think they do. I don't say that to demean the girls. I mean that if you don't go to every dance or get every date it doesn't matter. You'll live. Older girls are better anyway. They have more money …

3 - A mission can affect you for the rest of your life. Prepare for it and use the service you give for a foundation to build your life on. The people you serve with might be doofuses but that doesn't mean the gospel isn't true.

4 - Your parents are wiser than you think they are. Sure, they're old and they wear socks and sandals (at the same time), but that doesn't mean they can't give good advice.

5 - Learn to save money while you are young. It will make it that much easier when you get older and money is more important.

There are about a thousand other things I wish I would have done differently but those are the top five. Look, have fun while you are young and enjoy life. Pretty soon you will look back and wonder where all the time went. But if you lay a foundation while you are young you will be much better off later on down the road.

A: Scott Heffernan

1 - Be kind to people.

2 - If you make a mistake, repent and move on. Don't get wrapped up in shame. You are good and godly, even if you don't feel like it or act like it all the time. Choose to focus on your deep goodness, rather than your superficial imperfections.

The Worst Thing in the World

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

In the book 1984 the protagonist is arrested and taken to the Ministry of Love to be tortured. Although he is subjected to all manner of physical and mental horrors he remains defiant. In the end, however, his spirit is broken when he is taken to Room 101. His torturer explains why Room 101 is so effective: "The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world." You see, the reason Room 101 is the worst thing in the world is because there you are subject to your own greatest fear.

I know exactly what I would be confronted with in Room 101. Unemployment. Even before I was married and had kids I shuddered at the thought that I someday might be a husband and a father and unemployed. Now, with a family of my own, I am even more acutely aware of the possibility.

On Saturday during the priesthood session the topic of unemployment was mentioned. The following quote was shared and it was like a punch to my chest:

A man out of work is of special moment to the Church because, deprived of his inheritance, he is on trial as Job was on trial—for his integrity. As days lengthen into weeks and months and even years of adversity, the hurt grows deeper, and he is sorely tempted to "curse God and die." ... The Church cannot hope to save a man on Sunday if during the week it is a complacent witness to the crucifixion of his soul.

Two days after priesthood I saw this video. It hurt me. The thought of that scene playing out around my own dinner table shook me.

I've never been unemployed, but I have seen first-hand what can happen. My brother lost his job once. It was a good job with excellent benefits and he loved it. Then one day the word came down that he was on the cut list. Even with months of advance of notice, even with a generous severance package, and even with many job prospects, my brother was crushed. He lost something like 30 pounds because his mind was frenzied. He was in a bad way. Eventually he found another great job but that span of unemployment was rough.

I hope none of you reading this are unemployed, but if you are I want to help. I don't claim to know any great networking secrets, nor do I have big business hookups. My circle of friends is small and my professional success is meager. But I do work for a pretty big company and we always have job openings. I also have an email account, a phone, and some time. Maybe, just maybe, I might be able to help. If nothing else you can at least know someone is willing to listen if you want to vent. Perhaps among all the good folks on MMM we could do something? I sincerely hope I am not out of line here. I don't mean to be. I'm just offering to help in my own puny way.

From the depths of my soul I'm asking you not to give up. I feel for my unemployed brothers out there and I pray that I can help.

Here is my contact info:
benjohnson3478 [at] gmail dot com
(eight oh one) four four eight-seven one seven two

Hosanna Shou ... I Mean, Shhhh!

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

And help us by the power of thy Spirit, that we may mingle our voices with those bright, shining seraphs around thy throne, with acclamations of praise, singing Hosanna to God and the Lamb! Doctrine and Covenants 109:79

There are currently 138 operating temples throughout the world. Of those 138 temples, I’ve participated in the dedications of four of them; Palmyra, Nauvoo, Bountiful and Oquirrh Mountain. I’ve enjoyed and been uplifted at each of the dedications but I've always been a little let down by one aspect: the Hosanna Shouts. There just never seemed to be much shouting going on. I guess I expected something ... more.

Listen to George Q. Cannon describe how the Shout should be given: "Now when we go before the temple and this shout goes forth, we want every man and every woman to shout these words to the very extent of their voice, so that every house in this city may tremble, the people in every portion of this city hear it and it may reach to the eternal worlds."

Does that describe any Shout you've been a part of?

After the Oquirrh Mountain dedication I came across this this post and it struck a chord with me. I felt Kathryn's pain. I too wondered why our shouts weren't more stirring. Weren't we dedicating the House of the Lord? Weren't we celebrating with those who have gone to the other side? Were not angels rejoicing with us? I decided to see what the Encyclopedia of Mormonism had to say on the topic. The entry states "The Hosanna Shout is whole-souled, given to the full limit of one's strength.” Why then do our Hosanna Shouts seem more like whimpers?

On Sunday we will have the opportunity to participate in the dedication of the Brigham City temple. As you know, baptized members of the church will be able to go to their Stake centers and watch a broadcast of the dedicatory session. My daughter, Chuck, is nine years old so she is going to be able to attend with us. I'm truly excited because Katti, Chuck and I have all agreed that we are going to do our best to make the Hosanna Shout truly a shout.

Let me conclude by asking a favor of all those that will be attending the dedication. If you don't mind, go ahead and actually shout. Let your voices rise to heaven. We are worshipping and we are also celebrating. I think we can act like it.

A Semi-Cromulent Blog Post

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by Ben Johnson (bio)

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me a beer........................ and some peanuts.” The bartender says, “OK, but why the big pause (paws)?”

This is the joke my wife, Katti, told me the other night just before family prayer. Of course, I couldn’t pray because I was laughing too hard. Good heavens, I love that woman.

On Friday my wife and I celebrated our tenth anniversary. This has me in a reflective mood. Has it really been ten years? Where has the time gone? As I’ve thought about our decade-long (!?) marriage I’ve tried to figure out what makes it so great. Here’s what I’ve come up with: humor. You know the old saying about the family that MST3Ks together stays together? That’s us.

I can’t think of a day that has gone by in the past ten years where we haven’t laughed our faces off. The funny thing is (pun intended) we didn’t decide that humor would be a cornerstone of our marriage. It just happened that way. Over the years, life, TV, movies, jobs, church, etc. have given us vast stores of inside jokes that we have incorporated into our daily conversations. We can’t even remember where half the stuff we say comes from, but it’s still funny.

Without a doubt one of my favorite sources of humor from over the years is our tradition of writing notes/letters to one another, specifically the pictures we include in the letters. We decided that any time one of us writes a letter to the other we have to draw a picture to go with it. I can tell you that this has been, not only very funny, but very rewarding.

I hope this isn’t the blogging equivalent of a vacation slideshow but I would love to share some of the pictures with you. I’ll show the picture first and then give the background after so it won’t be too ‘inside baseball.’

Here we go, in no particular order (except the first one).

Background: This is the first picture Katti ever drew for me. Technically it was before we were married but I’m including it for sentimental reasons. Back when I was in the singles’ ward I got suckered into planning the activity for Family Home Evening. Since it was close to Valentine’s Day I decided to buy a bunch of cards and candy so the group could make Valentines for whoever they wanted.

Being the thoughtful genius that she is, and knowing that I liked (old) Simpsons, Katti made the card for me. Unlike Ralph, I ended up getting the girl.

Background: About a year ago I had to teach a lesson in Elder’s Quorum. I’m one of the worst teachers in the history of mankind and I was foolish enough to think a centerpiece would help my lesson. It didn’t. This picture Katti drew made me feel better though.

Guest Post: Inoculation

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Have something to say? Anyone can submit a guest post to Modern Mormon Men. Just send us an email with your post, a post title and a paragraph of introduction (on yourself).

Ben Johnson grew up in the heart of Mormon country, just outside of Salt Lake City. Given the unsophisticated nature of his palette ("what's a filet?") he was sent to Denver on his mission, where he grew to love even more types of cereal. Post-mission Ben broke his mother’s heart by attending and, *gasp*, graduating from the University of Utah with a degree in Finance. Whether he does anything with that degree is another matter. Determined to prove that the system works, Ben met his future wife Katti in a single’s ward. It was nothing like the movie. Ben currently lives just outside Salt Lake City with his beautiful wife and two cereal-eating kids, Elizabeth "Chuck" (8) and Jacob (6). If you missed them, make sure you read Ben's previous guest posts about Halloween and Ward Librarians.

…wherefore, treasure up wisdom in your bosoms, lest the wickedness of men reveal these things unto you by their wickedness, in a manner which shall speak in your ears with a voice louder than that which shall shake the earth; but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear. (D&C 38:30)

The subject of ‘inoculation’ has been on my mind recently. As I sat down to write this post I remembered that back in January my brother and I had an email conversation somewhat related to this topic. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve reproduced the email stream below in its entirety. I think it represents an honest, off-the-cuff discussion between two brothers who have encountered and dealt with what could be considered troubling aspects of church doctrine and history.

Just in case, here is a quick definition of inoculation (hat tip Times & Seasons): Inoculation refers to any proposal to systematically provide helpful and accurate information about troubling LDS doctrinal and historical issues to members of the Church so they aren’t taken by surprise when presented with such information from unfriendly sources.

Frankly, I debated whether to even write this post. In theory I am all for inoculation, but in practice I want nothing to do with it. I don’t want to be the guy who kills someone’s testimony because I can’t talk about polygamy in the right way.

In any event, the email string is below (I used brackets any time I felt like some clarification was needed). What do you think about inoculation? Should it be practiced? If so, what is the best way? I honestly don’t know and I would appreciate any thoughts people have.

Guest Post: The Librarian

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Have something to say? Anyone can submit a guest post to Modern Mormon Men. Just send us an email with your post, a post title and a paragraph of introduction (on yourself).

Ben Johnson grew up in the heart of Mormon country, just outside of Salt Lake City. Given the unsophisticated nature of his palette ("what's a filet?") he was sent to Denver on his mission, where he grew to love even more types of cereal. Post-mission Ben broke his mother’s heart by attending and, *gasp*, graduating from the University of Utah with a degree in Finance. Whether he does anything with that degree is another matter. Determined to prove that the system works, Ben met his future wife Katti in a single’s ward. It was nothing like the movie. Ben currently lives just outside Salt Lake City with his beautiful wife and two cereal-eating kids, Elizabeth "Chuck" (8) and Jacob (6). If you missed it, make sure you read Ben's first guest post about Halloween.

photo from UHF (starring Weird Al and Kramer)

I confess that I am a sinner. I’ve been told that in the church we are not supposed to aspire to callings. Nor are we supposed to ask for callings. Yet I did both in regard to my current calling. I’m sure when I tell you what my calling is you will offer me pardon, for you see, I am the ward librarian. Is there a better, nobler calling in the church? I submit that there is not.

My love of the library started while I was serving my mission. It was in these hallowed edifices that my fragile testimony was nurtured by such classics as Answers to Gospel Questions, History of the Church, Doctrines of Salvation, etc. A new world was opened to me.

As my love of the library grew so did my realization that the number of good books contained therein was inversely proportional to the number of years the church building had been in existence: the younger the building the poorer the selection, and vice versa.

So, getting back to my current calling. When our ward was split many positions were vacated and needed to be filled. The bishop asked me and my wife to come visit him one night and he extended a calling to Katti. He then turned to me and said, “We’ll find something for you someday.” Jokingly I said, “How about the library?” The bishop paused for a second, then threw me the keys and said, “It’s all yours.”

Guest Post: Why Halloween Is The Best Holiday

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Ben Johnson grew up in the heart of Mormon country, just outside of Salt Lake City. Given the unsophisticated nature of his palette ("what's a filet?") he was sent to Denver on his mission, where he grew to love even more types of cereal. Post-mission Ben broke his mother’s heart by attending and, *gasp*, graduating from the University of Utah with a degree in Finance. Whether he does anything with that degree is another matter. Determined to prove that the system works, Ben met his future wife Katti in a single’s ward. It was nothing like the movie. Ben currently lives just outside Salt Lake City with his beautiful wife and two cereal-eating kids, Elizabeth "Chuck" (8) and Jacob (6).

As everyone comes down off of the sugar-high of Halloween, they begin to steel themselves for the upcoming holiday season. The heavy hitters of Thanksgiving and Christmas are just on the horizon. And yet … I’m not quite ready to let go of Halloween. While I love turkey and presents and good cheer as much as the next guy, I’d like to make the case that Halloween is the zenith of the holiday pantheon.

First, a disclaimer: I am avoiding any discussion of religion in this contest. Religion allows Christmas to bring a gun to the holiday knife fight. It will win every time. So let’s leave that off the table and get to my list of why Halloween is the best.

1) The time of year. Is there anything better than stepping outside on a sunny October afternoon, crunching leaves while you walk to the mailbox, holding your wife’s hand? What about wandering through a pumpkin patch with your kids, watching them heft every gourd in sight so they can find the perfect one? There is something about the sun being a bit lower in the sky, giving things a warm orange hue. If you ride a motorcycle you’ll know what I mean when I say that a fall ride on a bike is one of the great joys in life.