MMM Search Term Roundup 9: June & July 2012

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by Scott Heffernan (bio)

When someone finds Modern Mormon Men via search engine, we get to see what they typed to get here, giving us a small glimpse into the thought processes of those who happen upon our site. I think our readers need to see these, so I'll be sharing them monthly. Some are funny, some are sad, some are disturbing. Maybe we can work together to give some context or help answer some of those curious questions. WARNING: Although some of the more explicit entries have been excluded, saucier phrases that are included have not been edited.

See all Search Term Roundups here.

cher makes mormons mad
I know this is referring to a specific event, but I like it better on its own.

mormon mom trying to hook up her newly returned missionary
And I’m sure it's greatly appreciated. Not embarrassing at all.

photos of the terrestrial kingdom
You do realize you typed “photos,” right?

are mormon men encouraged to avoid eye contact with women
At. All. Costs.

is harrison ford lds
No, but he played one in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

is coldplay a mormon
Coldplay is a Mormon.

dustin hoffman mormon
Sister Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.

james cromwell mormon
In a former life.

corey duffel mormon
Does this frontside 180 answer your question?

fred rogers mormon
No, but he's still the best person born in the 20th century.

is peeta a mormon/lds
Um...

chuck norris is a mormon
Chuck Norris is all things.

can mormon men grow mustaches?
Bite your head off, man.

how often should mormon parents swear
At least three times per week; probably less than 37 times per day.

tim kazurinsky
...looks like James E. Talmage.

  mormons in goatees
...look like the devil.

what mormon boys think of girls

why is it so hard to find swinging couples
You’re hanging out at the wrong Draper gym.

how do mormons keep up with all the stuff they beleive
Seminary five days a week. Activities three days a week. Three hours of church on Sunday. And oh so much more.

why are mormons so boring
Seminary five days a week. Activities three days a week. Three hours of church on Sunday. And oh so much more.

do mormom men play hard to get
No. We really are just hard to get.

is asinine a curse word lds
is jackass a swear
C’mon now.

im mormon and my wife is fat
my mormon wife got fat
Not sure what the Mormon part has to do with this.

mormon makeouts
lds making out okay
Better than okay. Mormon makeouts are the best kind of makeouts.

seattle school for socially awkward kids
Ah, the SSSAK. I visited there once. Was like walking among the Borg.

what kind of movies are rated r but only have bad language?
Kill Bill?

lds words design
Shameless plug.

do all mormon children have blonde hair
Only the super righteous ones.

why do mormons think blonde hair is superior
It has something to do with being more valiant in the pre-existence.

can a teenager stop periods by staying childlike
And we have a winner! There is no need to continue.