by Bishop Higgins (bio)
In heaven, lift tickets at ski hills will always be 65% off.
In heaven, no one will be grossed out when watching an old person eat corn.
In heaven, every angel will be dressed in Prada.
In heaven, the lion and the lamb shall lay down together. And their parents won't be all, "I told you not to play with that lion down the street. His parents drink, don't you know."
In heaven, whenever you stub your toe, you will either get a new toe or a coupon for a free pair of new shoes!
In heaven, the Deseret Industries will have a cafeteria with gently used food. Shepherd's Pie - yum, yum.
In heaven, the Deseret Industries will smell like Nordstrom instead of a wet dog.
In heaven, sometimes we'll look down at the earth and say, remember that one time we got food poisoning at Arby's and then everyone will laugh and be glad we're in heaven.
In heaven, Motel 6 will be more like the Ritz-Carlton and the Ritz-Carlton will be like the Celestial Kingdom.
In heaven, Joseph Smith will have a meet and greet every Wednesday at 2 p.m.
Sofía Vergara will be in heaven, so, there's that.