Guest Post: Being Grateful for My Imperfections

Tweet

It doesn't matter if you’re man or woman, gay or straight, dark- or light-skinned. All can equally submit guest posts to Modern Mormon Men. Write something now and submit via email.

Alex Balinski is a Senior in Communications at BYU. He and his wife have a baby boy. After graduation Alex plans on building open educational websites. One project he and his wife are working on right now is a mission prep website that has over 7,500 clean travel and mission prep videos hand-picked for LDS families. Next Alex plans to create a database of thousands of interactive video interviews with thousands of successful professionals. Alex occasionally writes on his blog Scripture News.

Image via Salt and Light

I've been thinking recently about two physical weaknesses I've been endowed with: frequent headaches and motion sickness. As I write this post I am experiencing a moderately-strong headache. If I tilt my head forward, my head may throb. Headaches are a weakness I inherited from my mother. While they are not usually strong, they do come somewhat frequently and can make it difficult to feel productive.

My other weakness, motion sickness, does not prohibit me from most normal activities but has tempered some of my physical activities. To help you understand how easily I get motion sick, I feel dizzy after turning around once. I also begin to feel nauseous after one move on the swing.

Sometimes I ask myself why I've been given these weaknesses. Is there some purpose behind the challenges, or would I be better off without them? I like to think that behind things I can't control there is a purpose.

Growing up I have been very physically active. Without any exercise regimen I could usually do about 20 pull-ups. By exercising a couple minutes a day I was able to build up to over 40 pull-ups at one time. If it weren't for my headaches and motion sickness, I could see myself becoming obsessed with extreme sports that could put my life in danger. I also could see myself focusing too much on competition and becoming prideful.

These concerns may seem silly, but for me they are real. I honestly feel that if I didn't get headaches or motion sickness, I might have chosen a more worldly lifestyle, and thus would have forfeited many spiritual blessings.

My weaknesses have helped me to remember my dependence on God and avoid extreme lifestyles. Next time you face a personal challenge, I invite you to consider how your weakness might be a blessing in disguise from your Heavenly Father.

An Open Letter to the Single Fathers of the Church

Tweet

by Eliana (bio)

Image via pipitdapo

To be clear, I’m not your target audience: I'm married. But I've been thinking about you guys and it seems like you could use some help.

The most attractive thing you can offer women is to be a good dad. Whether that is one weekend a month, two weeks a year or full-time. I don't know what it is, but a grown man being sweet with kids even when they don't deserve it? Sexy as hell. Seriously.

You think I'm joking and that you should spend more time at the gym. No. Grossly overweight is a problem, but otherwise we don't care about your body that much. If you are over 30 and weird things are starting to happen to you physically—hair in unexpected places, weird red dots—don't freak out. Someone will still love you as long as you keep up basic grooming and hygiene.

I hear a lot of horror stories about you guys, especially your behavior using dating websites. Don't be stupid. Don't lead with how much you miss sex, even if it is true. Don't expect women to be desperate and willing to settle for you.

What else ... I know it is hard. No matter how you became a single dad, life hasn't been what you expected. Join the club. Maybe you thought you could coast after you got a lady in your life. And now here you are, right back in the thick of things. We the married sympathize. Really. We may cringe when we think about dating again, but if you aren't willing to be real with us then we'll probably keep trying to set you up. We don't mean to, it is just an instinct.

If you have girl children, find women in the ward to be in their lives. We women love that kind of thing. Probably not single women or they might be confused. But if there's someone you respect, let her know that your daughter could use a big sister figure. It isn't about you not being enough; it is about having the maximum number of loving adults in your child's life.

I've met some great ones in your Single Dad Club. Really impressive. And some super losers too. It takes all types. If you find yourself slipping towards the loser end of the spectrum, take some of this advice to heart. Own your faith, your trials, your dreams. Your kids are learning from you, even when they aren't around.

Good luck out there. We your fellow saints really are here for you.

Upcoming Events in Seattle

Tweet

If you live in the Seattle area, you're about to be spoiled. See below for two upcoming firesides you won't want to miss. See you there.

Who: Margaret Blair Young
Who she is: expert on the African-American Mormon experience
MMM Links on MBY: here, here and here
When: Sunday, May 5th @ 7:00 p.m.
Where: Shoreline Stake Center (102 North 132nd Street, Seattle, WA 98133)

Who: Clayton Christensen
Who he is: expert on disruptive innovation, Harvard professor, author
MMM Links on CC: here, here and here
When: Monday, May 13th @ 7:30 p.m.
Where: Seattle North Stake Center (5701 8th Ave NE, Seattle, WA 98105)

Handbook of Instructions (1940): Qualifications of Bishops

Tweet

by Seattle Jon (bio)

My youngest brother recently gifted me a Handbook of Instructions from 1940 signed by first presidency members Heber J. Grant, J. Reuben Clark, Jr. and David O. McKay. At 170 pages, the handbook is much shorter then our current versions (Handbook 1 alone is 186 pages) yet contains some interesting rulings and regulations - and language - which I'll share over time on MMM.

Qualifications of Bishops (page 3)

"A bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; but a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince. One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; for if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the Church of God?" (Titus 1:7-9. See also 1 Timothy 3:2-7; Doctrine and Covenants 46:27)

The bishop should be qualified to keep accurate account of the tithes and to check over the financial accounts of the ward. He should be wise and tactful. He should be sympathetic and considerate. He should develop system and executive ability in his labors.

Since the bishop is concerned largely with temporal affairs, he should be a man of judgement, integrity and thrift. Some knowledge of accounting is very helpful to him. He should set an example in the systematic, careful handling of his own affairs.

My bishop qualifies ... how about yours?

Guest Post: Combating Internet Evils w/ Missionary Work Online

Tweet

It doesn't matter if you're man or woman, gay or straight, dark- or light-skinned. All can equally submit guest posts to Modern Mormon Men. Write something and submit via email.

Kenny Schank was born in Las Vegas and raised in Nevada, Arizona, and Utah. He is a recently returned missionary who is slowly but surely adapting to "real life." He spends his new-found free time working so he can save up for college and major in ... something. If his dreams are realized, he will find himself later working for the Church Educational System as a seminary or institute teacher. Eager to better qualify for such a position, he is already trying to dry out his sense of humor. He loves playing sports, some good alternative rock, and a thin slice of cheesecake. Or a fat one. Whichever he can get his fork into.

Elder Schneider and Rauni Jussila by Charles Roberts

I love websites that seek to carry on with the noble and praiseworthy task of building others' faith and inviting them to Christ. These days, people spend more and more time online. The internet is an incredible blessing.  Virtually all the information one could ever need is available at our fingertips and can be delivered to us in mere seconds. And that's not even mentioning how much easier it is to learn and share the gospel with the content made available by missionary-minded publishers.

Unfortunately, the devil has gotten really good at his game of perverting the good things God has inspired men to create. For example, music is one medium through which we can find motivation, peace, and even communication from the Holy Ghost. However, it's becoming harder and harder to find a radio station or a new album by your favorite band that doesn't include some sort of profanity or innuendo describing violence or immorality. Even lyric-less songs can drive the Spirit away if they direct our thoughts towards unrighteous action.

Like music and other forms of media, the internet is a powerful tool both in the hands of God and those of Satan. And Satan is tricky in how he uses it.

Have you ever ran a Google search for the word "Mormon?" Do it and you'll find a lot of very helpful links and uplifting sources: official church websites, educational and objective articles on Mormonism, etc. But you'll also find in the mix links to websites that teach misleading and negative falsehoods, "warning" people about the so-called dangers of Mormonism. While God inspires man to use the web to enlighten and bring others to the truth, Satan fights back hard by enticing others to use it to confuse and mislead those who are "kept from the truth because they know not where to find it" (D&C 123:12) and develop a hostility within them towards the restored gospel. This, my friends, is where we come in.

BYU Group Projects: A Meme

Tweet

by Shawn Tucker (bio)

Detour: 1000 Years in Hell

Tweet

by Seattle Jon (bio)

My mom found this the other day in some old files. She remembers the graphic as part of the old Book of Remembrance packet. My dad, in emailing it to me, had this sage advice: "If you have every considered choosing between alcohol and coffee, here is some guidance. Alcohol will get you 1000 years in Hell and coffee only lurching along Broadway to the Terrestrial Kingdom. Pick carefully your vices!"

Thanks, dad. Including this in my book of remembrance, which I pull out and review several times a year (don't you?), could have avoided me 1000 years in hell.