Guest Post: The 'F' Word

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DJ was born and raised in Salt Lake City, and has learned everything about other states and countries from TV and returned missionary reports. He is a proud father of four and husband of one and convincingly portrays someone who knows what he is doing. Read DJ's first guest post here.

Probably my most hated word is the 'F' word. Not the actual F@$% swear word. Just the "the 'F' word." And as generations will often do, they tweak it and take the impact out of a word or phrase until it becomes a commonly used one.

What is really messed up, and why I hate it, is because if someone is talking to you, or relaying an experience they had - they can make you say the actual word. Here is an example.


"So the little Johnson boy got sent home from school today, did you hear about that?"

"Oh my gosh! Why?"

"Well he was in school and he said the 'F' word."

And that simple last sentence makes you say the actual word in your head. You don't repeat "the 'F' word" in your head. You actually think the real word to yourself. Now in some morally twisted ninja-like way they have made you as bad as the person they were talking about. (Yes, you are now as bad as a 10 year-old on a playground.) You could have gone the whole day surrounding yourself with people that speak respectfully, and this one phrase just made you say the mother of all cuss words, like little Ralphie changing a car tire, without the other person having to say it.

The Scarlet Letter "F"

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by Saint Mark (bio)

A few years back, my family and I were discriminated against. It wasn’t the first time. And it wasn’t until the last time that we learned it was illegal and we decided to do something about it.

Being married with young children seems to be an acceptable reason for discrimination here in Boston, Massachusetts. Fortunately, it’s illegal. However, that doesn’t stop many landlords, leasing agents, housing brokers and the like from refusing to rent or lease apartments to young families.

When my family and I moved to Boston, we found our familial status to be extremely limiting to our housing options. I don’t know if any of you have had this experience in urban centers but in Boston being a young family was like wearing a scarlet letter “F” on our shirts. Young families are the modern lepers in housing circles. Time after time we heard that the apartment couldn’t be rented to us because of “lead paint problems” or that the “neighbors like the building quiet” or that there was “another apartment that we would probably be much more interested in.”

Being novices to Boston living conditions, we thought this limitation to finding housing was definitely frustrating but it wasn’t until a management company out-and-out lied to us that we found out that discriminating against someone because of their familial status was illegal.

My wife contacted a management company regarding a perfect apartment for our family. It was near parks, spacious, and in the community where we currently lived. The broker was cordial and ready to have us view it that day. Unfortunately, at the end of the conversation when my wife let the broker know that we had two young children, the broker abruptly said she “would get back to her.” After not receiving a return call, my wife contacted the broker the next day. The broker said that the apartment had already rented and not only had she rented it but she had rented it to "someone with children." She said this despite the fact that craigslist had a new posting for the same apartment posted that day! My wife had had it. She called me, told me the situation, and had me call to see if I received the same response. When I called, the broker told me I could come by that day or the next to see the apartment and rent it if I liked. After hearing what had happened, my wife was on a mission. She talked to people. She called various city services. She googled all she could to find out if there was anything she could do to fight for our rights. And it turned out, there was.

Mormon Crushes

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by Scott Heffernan (bio)

A crush is generally understood as an intense, often temporary, romantic attraction to someone—a state of being inspired or carried away by love or passion. It can also refer to the object of said attraction. So what is a Mormon Crush? I’ll start with what it is not. It does not describe a person I am physically attracted to, who also happens to be Mormon. Rather it is a passionate respect for the way one approaches Mormonism and faith—an infatuation with one's "Mormon style." Seinfeld brilliantly helped familiarize us with the concept of a non-sexual crush. With a non-sexual crush, one can still have a deep admiration for the person, but not hope for romantic reciprocation.

I’d like to welcome any of our readers to share their Mo-Crushes in the comments. It would also be fun to see any of our contributors tackle this theme in a separate post (maybe this could be an ongoing series). Here is the criteria I used. 1) They must be somewhat of a public figure. My Uncle Dick is wonderful, but you can’t Google him to learn his take on things and only I know how to access his blog. 2) They must currently be living on the Earth (and no loopholes saying they’ve been resurrected, or translated, or they are living in the spirit world, which is “all around us”). Due to the fleeting nature of crushes, I feel this guideline is appropriate to the spirit of the theme. 3) No church leaders at or above the level of a seventy. They’re great, but it would be a pretty boring list if we all just picked our top five GAs. I don’t think we’re supposed to do that anyway—it has to do with not being a cafeteria Mormon (or something). Besides 92% of us would probably just pick Elder Uchtdorf anyway.

Without further ado, here are my current Mormon Crushes:

Dr. Joanna Brooks

Who is she?
Joanna Brooks is a professor, author, and a go-to fountain of knowledge on religion, race, culture, and Mormonism. In addition to being featured and cited in various prestigious publications, she is frequently interviewed on podcasts and radio. She’s a permablogger at Religion Dispatches regarding Mormonism and American religious history. She also runs the advice column Ask Mormon Girl. She is a highly respected scholar among Mormons, ex-Mormons, and never-been-Mormons alike (or in other words, you know, “people”).

Why do I crush on her?
Joanna (yes, I can call her by her first name, these are my crushes after all) is one of the most articulate people I’ve ever listened to. When I hear her, I often think, “Thank you for taking exactly what was in my mind and putting it into words in such an eloquent yet audacious manner.” I find it difficult to disagree with her because everything she says comes across so...reasonable. In discussions with those she disagrees with, she is always civil and classy. She is a feminist and a true intellectual, and still fully embraces her Mormonism with arms wide open. The bottom line is that I feel prouder to be a Mormon just knowing that she is one too.

Guest Post: Am I A Father?

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Kyle August would like to smile, say hello, look you in the front-facing camera, and give you a firm digital handshake. He would like you to know how fanatical he is about the Portland Trail Blazers, brown sugar, packing a car, and being married to the conqueror of his heart. Because he's 24, he's confident that you'll find his perspective either naive, or fresh. You decide. He's just trying to make it through life without doing anything too stupid. Join him, but not before reading his first guest post here.

For the first time in my life I woke up to the smell and sound of crackling bacon. You could say that’s because you can touch our bed and the kitchen sink at the same time. Or, you could say that I was excited about my first Father’s Day.

But why was I excited? I’ve only been married for two months. Am I father yet? Good question. Let’s roll out the definition and see if I can pick out something to justify receiving that king-sized Snickers from the young women.

father |ˈfäðər|
noun
1 a man in relation to his natural child or children.
• a man who has continuous care of a child, esp. by adoption; an adoptive father, stepfather, or foster father.
• a father-in-law.
• (usu. fathers) poetic/literary an ancestor.
• (also founding father) an important figure in the origin and early history of something.

Let’s see. Children? Negative. Plus, this isn’t really the right place for an announcement.

Adoption? Continuous care? This may be stretching it, but do golf clubs count?

Father-in-law? No kids = nobody can marry what doesn’t exist. (Sorry to break it to all of you who still fantasize about glistening vampires. It ain’t happening!)

Ancestor? The oldest? C’mon, I’m 24.

All right we may have something here, “an important figure in the origin and early history of something.” I’m pretty sure I started that whole “pick the pepperonis off your pizza, stack them on your plate, and eat them like a sandwich” thing. Man, I’m striking out.

Let’s face it; according to definition, I’m not a father. But I’ve been fathered by plenty of people that aren’t Mark Christensen. Church leaders, coaches, teachers; the list goes on. The important thing is to recognize that men hold a special place in the raising and rearing of children, no matter who those children belong to. The day should be changed to “Influential Males on Children Day.”

Have I been influential in the life on a child? I think so. I’m pretty sure playing Batman with my nephew counts. So, if you, too, have ever slobbered all over yourself while imitating a machine gun noise, then let us raise our Snickers to the sky, clank them together, and eat them with a clear conscious.

That’s my definition of being a father. What’s yours?

Richard Bushman: An Interview

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by Seattle Jon (bio)

Richard Bushman, one of my personal heroes, recently gave an off-set interview to CNN’s In the Arena. Here are some highlights, but I encourage everyone to read the entire interview.

About The Book of Mormon musical…
Mormons experience the show like looking at themselves in a fun-house mirror. The reflection is hilarious but not really you. The nose is yours but swollen out of proportion.

On blacks and the priesthood…
For over a century, the Church did deny the priesthood to blacks for reasons Mormons themselves did not understand: perhaps there was a doctrinal basis, perhaps it was a policy adopted by Brigham Young in an era when blacks were commonly excluded from many white activities… The Church is conservative in the classic sense of changing slowly, but it does change deliberately in its own good time.

About his testimony of the book of mormon…
I studied everything and prayed hard for some kind of light. In time I arrived at a rational explanation that allowed for a miracle in the book’s production, but along the way I experienced something more important than the book itself. I caught a glimpse of a higher form of human flourishing, something forceful and ennobling which I can only call sacred. It was this encounter with a kind of elevated goodness in the book that won me over.

About the upcoming election…
I am one who is pleased to have Mormonism in the spotlight. I don’t mind the ribbing we get, or the attacks from skeptics, or the evangelicals’ objections to Mormon presidential candidates. I like the feeling that we are all in this together, trying to reconcile religious belief, politics, and our conflicted views of policy. We all want to know how they can work together for the public good.

Music: Jake Ballentine

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We first discovered the music - and harmonica-playing - of Jake Ballentine when he followed us on Twitter. His newest venture, Acoustic Hymns, features new-every-month versions of well-known LDS songs. The MP3s are free to download if you sign up on the website. His first release, As I Have Loved You, you can watch below. He just recently released his second acoustic hymn, There Is Sunshine In My Soul. Head over to both sites to support Jake!

Music: Hip-Hop and the Modern Mormon Man

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by Seattle Jon (bio)

As DJ mentioned yesterday, it's a challenge for some of us mormon dads to contemplate giving up the hip-hop we used to listen to. In my opinion, the key is not to give up the genre but to find rap that speaks to who you've become. For example, this single about the parking lot at Whole Foods really speaks to me ...

Note: Given our readership's sensitivity to curse words (see comments on this post), please mute your speakers at approximately 2:33 for three seconds.