by Reid:
We've all encountered the person who sincerely believes that their pain, grief, melancholy or despair is far greater than anyone else's.
"I know your mom died as well, but my mother and I were SO close…"Unable or unwilling to see themselves with accurate perspective, they suffer—and suck all the oxygen out of any room they enter within seconds.
What do you say? I don't think it's very effective to try to trump their pain with your own. The "it could always be worse" argument—though rational—is not always helpful either.
REM's Everybody Hurts1 is brilliant. Released in 1992, the band said that this song was written for struggling teenagers. It is a simple reality check that offers some perspective. Everyone hurts. You're not alone. Don't give up.
When the day is long and the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone
(Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go
(Hold on)
When you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand oh, no don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
Of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes so, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
No, no, no, no, you are not alone
*****
1. REM is singer Michael Stipe, guitarist Peter Buck, bassist Mike Mills, and drummer Bill Berry.
Reid is an endocrinologist from Henderson, Nevada. He's blessed with wonderful wife and three great kids. His interests are charitably characterized as eclectic: cycling, fly-fishing, history, travel and the coinage of the Flavian dynasty of Imperial Rome. With a deep-seated belief that people habitually do dumb things, he's trying really hard to keep things positive. People are not making it any easier these days. The gospel has helped a lot. Blog: reidlitchfield.com.
