MMM Search Term Roundup 11: October & November 2012

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by Scott Heffernan:

When someone finds Modern Mormon Men via search engine, we get to see what they typed to get here, giving us a small glimpse into the thought processes of those who happen upon our site. I think our readers need to see these, so I'll be sharing them monthly. Some are funny, some are sad, some are disturbing. Maybe we can work together to give some context or help answer some of those curious questions. WARNING: Although some of the more explicit entries have been excluded, saucier phrases that are included have not been edited.

See all Search Term Roundups here.

why is there no mormon skaters
I’ve heard a couple of these guys are Mormon.

a mormon man has been approaching me
That's weird. Usually there's two of them.

mormon men lingerie
It’s being naked except for black socks.

bad teaching in elders quorum
Never heard of this happening.

did tim mcgraw grow up in the norman religion
Nobody cares.

cartoons of a skinny nude old man

christopher reeve mustache

mormans not welcum
Neither are English majors.

how do i approach men to buy their socks
This may be my favorite search of all time.

jack mormon dating
The best kind of Mormon dating. Includes dry humping and light petting.

the man or woman cannot feel comfortably in the temple where prays her/his husband or wife. they have to participate in celebrities even they don’t want to. they are forced to bring up their children in the strange religion.
I don’t even know. Celebrities?

are mumford and sons mormon
Mumford is, but not his sons.

does win butler like mormons?
I don’t know, but Mormons like Win Butler.

jerry seinfeld is not a mormon
Neither is George Castanza.

mormon dicks

jon huntsman jr handsome
That’s what I’ve been trying to say, but we are in the minority.

can you put your wife in the naughty corner?
do men teach their sons how to discipline a naughty wife
These are so ridiculous that they're funny, and I have mocked them before. But, man, they keep popping up, and I'm beginning to worry. Does anyone really think this is okay??

lds going to the gym on sundays
Only the really bad ones.

lds swinging couples in utah
They’re all at the Draper 24 Hour Fitness gym … on a Sunday.

examples of false gods today

are mormon men good in bed
I hardly snore at all—so yes.

book of mormon hell
That’s like when you’re trying to slog through 2 Nephi.

lds missionary slam poetry
If this exists, I want to hear it.

romney mayor of whoville
So that’s what he’s been up to since the presidential election.

ghost above my bed at night
I’ve got an upcoming post about this.

can mormons have red wine in stew
I pour mine in after I heat it up so it doesn't cook out.

Scott Heffernan is an artist, designer, and photographer living in Seattle. He works on the creative team at Archie McPhee, doing all manner of strange things. He grew up a child of the 80s in Salt Lake City and loves skateboarding, toys, and thrifting. He served a mission in England/Wales and has a degree in American Sign Language from the University of Utah. He has one wife and two kids. Twitter: @ScottHeffernan. Tumblr: ScottHeff.tumblr.com.