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Monday, May 21, 2012

Saintspeak 9: The Letter G

by Seattle Jon (bio)

Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon humor dictionary from Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here. Reproduced with permission from Signature Books.

G.A. 1. Abbreviation for General Authority: "Do we have a G.A. at stake conference?" 2. Nickname used by missionaries for the Catholic Church: "The reason we don't baptize much here is because everybody belong to the G.A." (great and abominable church)

Gathering The practice of separating the Saints from the world by bringing them to live together at one place where they can build a perfect society that will be an example of godliness to everyone, as was done in Jackson County, Missouri; Nauvoo, Illinois; and Provo, Utah. Nowadays the Saints are told not to gather anymore, except at BYU during football season.

Genealogy The study of your ancestry in order to link up with someone famous in the Church, or, failing that, to link up with an active family that already has your genealogy done for you.

Glory of God Is Intelligence In their humility, Mormons generally avoid seeking after glory.

Golden Question "What do you know about the Mormon Church? Would you like to know more?" A question Mormons regularly ask non-members, but rarely think to ask themselves.

Greenie A missionary so new in the mission field that he still believes his district leader is always inspired, people are eager to hear the gospel, and his girlfriend will wait for him.

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