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Thursday, October 20, 2011

MMM Search Term Roundup 2: June 2011

by Scott Heffernan (bio)

When someone finds Modern Mormon Men via search engine, we get to see what they typed to get here, giving us a small glimpse into the thought processes of those who happen upon our site. I think our readers need to see these, so I'll be sharing them monthly. Some are funny, some are sad, some are disturbing. Maybe we can work together to give some context or help answer some of those curious questions. WARNING: Although some of the more explicit entries have been excluded, saucier phrases that are included have not been edited. See them all here.

i'm mormon and my husband and i are into swinging
Go see your bishop... and stake president.

mormon church of jesus christ and garth brooks
"Garth Brooks has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men, than any other man that ever lived."
- Chris Gaines

modern hairstyle for lds

who should be my first pick in the bishopric
Is Google the new God?

can mormon couples sleep next to each other
Yes. Well, kind of. During full and waxing crescent moons, it's fine. Otherwise there has to be a pair of Saucony sneakers in between. But the sneakers have to be wrapped in velvet (any color).

who is a mormon
Brandon Flowers!

what do you think about the modern mormon men blog
We love it! Awesome question.

best blog about lds guys
Damn right!

i love men fest
You've come to the right place.

lds and pest control
There does seem to be an eerie connection. I've read a few blog posts on the subject.

what do momons believe about blonde haired children
Better than gingers, not as good as brunettes.

utah mormon accent
This needs it's own post. Any takers?

how does lds man satisfy wife
Very well, thank you.

beware the mormon smile
That's how we satisfy our wives.

how lds satisfy their sexual appetites
We marry young.

can a mormon man take counsel from a gentile female co-worker
I just love the wording of this one.

can a mormon watch modern family
Gosh I hope so. I love that show. So does Brett Merritt.

dang darn geez gosh
Fetch, flip, shoot, heck.

cotton candy body spray
I think Saint Mark reviewed this product.

help i'm in love with a mormon
He got you with the mormon smile, eh? There are worse things in life, but I think there are support groups you can join.

how to meet a morman man
Subscribe to this blog.

"i'm glad i am not mormon"
Too bad. It sounds like the women would be swooning.

oiled gay men in bowties
Here you go. You're welcome.

How did that go over? I threw my mom a Street Fighter II themed Mother's Day once. Hadoukens were thrown. Fun was had by all.

mcnugget 50 piece price
Does that even exist? I want that.

the hippie smell at the morman cult camp
Mormons are a lot of things. Cultists? It's debatable I suppose. Smelly? Some more than others. Hippies? NOPE.

mormon ceremonies/ breast sucking
Oh dear.

an bum the men
blog men bum rub
fondling bums

Thanks to Ken Craig's post, we get plenty of this type.

i know the men in this ward are being as many modern -day helamans.

my dentist always wears a teeshirts he mormon
Yep, he's mormon. Easy.

trying to figure out if my dentist is mormon
He is.

how can i find "non-mormon" dentists in meridian, idaho
There is only one. Email us and we'll give you his contact info.

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