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Thursday, May 12, 2011

This Is Not A Post About Swinging

by Aimee (bio)

Before I got married, I didn’t realize how complicated finding married friends would be as a couple.

The ladies need to like each other.
The men need to like each other.
I need to like the guy of the couple.
My husband needs to like the girl.
And the same goes for them.
They both need to like both of us back.
The same rules apply for our same-sex couple friends too. 

Once married, you think you have been released from the dating world, but little do you know that you have merely graduated into a whole new world of dating.

Couple Dating.
(And you thought dating alone was hard?)

Finding successful couple friends is an art form. Everyone needs to genuinely like each other in order for it to be a successful couple friendship that will last a lifetime…the kind of friendship where you get choked up at their children's weddings.

"How did the kids grow up so fast?" {tear}

This may seem like it would be easy to find, but in the real world, couple dating is a complicated, delicate, relational, and highly important marital matter.

You may have experienced a night out where the husbands or wives are high school buddies, but the other spouse of your gender is as boring as a rock. And you are trapped for the whole evening! Or you and your spouse are getting along great with the wife but her man wants to talk about his multi-level marketing product that you must-buy-because-it-will-change-your-life, all night long. Again, trapped. When your love tells you that you will be hanging out with "that couple" again, your heart sinks and you pray that the hours will go by quickly. "Didn't we just hang out with them?" you think to yourself.*

On the flip side, those nights out with the perfectly-balanced couples are magical. You get in the car to drive home and say to each other, "Aren't we so lucky to have such wonderful, funny (hilarious, even!), intelligent, wise, kind, thought-provoking, non-judgmental, open-minded, amazing friends where we can be completely ourselves and say crazy things in the late hours of the night and they still love us anyway?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, indeed we are lucky, honey."

Good couple friends are priceless and surprisingly hard to find.

Some wisdom I have learned along the way about couple dating:
  • If you find a couple you like, ease into the friendship. You don't need to play hard-to-get, but you don't want to come across as being too desperate, either. On the other hand, flirt. They need to know you're interested.
  • Make sure your competitive skills match. An intense game of Cranium where emotions run wild can ruin your chances of future dates.
  • If you learn that one or more individuals have completely opposing political views, DO NOT TALK POLITICS. Just don’t do it. Even with good intentions, it never ends pretty.
  • Try to find couple friends that relate to your humor. If your spouse tells their go-to hilarious joke (that you’ve heard thousands of times) and they don’t crack a smile, this couple isn’t for you. Humor is the main ingredient in all quality couple relationships.

Point of my Post: Cherish your married couple friends. Wrap them in your arms and give them a big hug, because their friendship adds a wonderful, healthy dynamic to your marriage.

* Situations have been changed to protect the guilty. Don't worry, this couple is not you and your spouse. Or is it?

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