The Worst Gifts

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by Eliana:

Remain anonymous if you must, but this is a safe space for sharing. In the church we talk a lot about the best gifts—service and such—but not much about the worst ones. Things under the tree frankly have nothing to do with the true meaning of Christmas, so lets come out of the shadows and speak truth.

My mother-in-law gave me a pair of queen size panty hose one year for Christmas. I was not remotely queen sized. That was the entire gift.

I looked early at my gifts only once in my whole life, 8th or 9th grade. I was getting a hideous bright purple long dress coat and a Gameboy. At that moment I realized that my parents knew me not at all. I spent the next week or two trying to come up with good reasons to return the ugliest coat known to man.

There's one other horrible gift I can think of but I'll save that for if we get enough comments coming in. Please share. We all need this after busy weeks of lots of travel and family and cheeriness. Now real life has to come back. Spill the beans: worst gift this year (hello coupon book for service from anyone over the age of 15) or of all time.


Eliana Osborn was raised on cold weather and wild animals in Anchorage, Alaska, setting the stage for her adult life in the Sunniest Place on Earth in Arizona. She grew up in the church and didn't know there were places where conformity was preached. She has degrees. She writes. She teaches. She has some kids. She even has a husband. She's trying to do her best.
Image credit: Kasia (used with permission).