Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Glengarry Gen Conf



by Donna Bardsley:


It's General Conference Weekend, and for all of us LDS lifestyle and design bloggers, that means one thing and one thing only:

It's time to flood the earth with free General Conference Printables.

Let me have your attention for a moment, because you're still talking about what? Last weekend's General Women's Meeting? That was just a warm-up, brothers and sisters. We've got eight hours of conference ahead of us— this is not for the faint of heart, or those lacking in Adobe Illustrator skills.

You call yourself a designer? You make clip art for Primary? Go play with the Nursery kids.

Only one things counts, and it's General Conference. Everybody loves #LDSConf Printables. Everybody except Satan. Because even he knows the power of good design principles.

Repeat after me: ABCP. Always Be Creating Printables.

There are Young Women’s lessons to save, and Pinterest boards to fill. Souls are thirsting for the words of living prophets rendered in perfectly kerned typeface on a chalkboard background. Are you going to sit back in your flannel pajamas, sipping your diet coke, and let other bloggers get more downloads than you?

Put the diet coke down.
Caffeine is for creators only. You think I'm messing with you?

What, that quote from that obscure GA is weak? Maybe you should ask yourself, what would Jesus design?

I'll tell you what Jesus would design. He would chevron stripe the crap out of that navigation metaphor, and fill the negative space with God's love. That's what Jesus would design.

Is Elder Holland next? Quit your squealing, and get ready to put some serious gospel hellfire in Helvetica against a Robin's Egg Blue background.

Did President Monson just drop an alliteration like nobody's business? I just peed my pants. But before I change my urine soaked jammies, you know I'm going to render that inspired counsel in the most sexy-modest typeface possible.

How much more powerful is that quote about mercy going to be on a solid tangerine circle? Super powerful because JUSTIFICATION.

That's right, God's rockstar Dalin H. just owned all the naysayers. Well, how hard are those apostates going to cry when they see his call to repentance in three contrasting fonts?

And was it just Elder Uchtdorf's piercing stare, or was he speaking Truth with a capital T? I don't know about you, but for me, nothing conveys gospel Truth quite like vintage color palettes and vector ribbons. BOOM.

You know what it takes to create General Conference Printables? It takes sassy floral graphics. Do you have what it takes?

Do not shirk, my friends; the time has come to separate the sans from the serif. So, if you don't want to get off the couch, you better meme your overflowing heart out.

 photo Line-625_zpse3e49f32.gif
Donna Bardsley is a life-long insomniac, and a lover of all Mormon pseudo swears. She moved with her husband and three children to Amsterdam in 2011, where she has a very real relationship with Google Translate. Her favorite thing about Amsterdam is biking, and her least favorite thing is headwind. Most days she has absolutely no idea what she is doing, and blogs about it at bardsleyland.blogspot.com.
 photo Line-625_zpse3e49f32.gifImage credit: Scott Heffernan (used with permission).

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