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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

MMM Search Term Roundup 8: April & May 2012



by Scott Heffernan (bio)

When someone finds Modern Mormon Men via search engine, we get to see what they typed to get here, giving us a small glimpse into the thought processes of those who happen upon our site. I think our readers need to see these, so I'll be sharing them monthly. Some are funny, some are sad, some are disturbing. Maybe we can work together to give some context or help answer some of those curious questions. WARNING: Although some of the more explicit entries have been excluded, saucier phrases that are included have not been edited.

See all Search Term Roundups here.

mormon socks
The only socks going to the Celestial Kingdom. (But they have to be in pairs to make it to the highest level.)

mormon eccentricities
There aren't any really.

mormon making out
The best kind of making out.

young hip and mormon blogs
Two out of three ain’t bad.

when a mormon man loves a woman
This was the original title to the famous Percy Sledge song. Probably wouldn't have had quite the reach. Good move.

is there a mormon in coldplay
was john wooden a mormon
is steve martin a mormon
is t.s. eliot mormon
is the tallest man in the world a morman
shawn kemp mormon
adam yauch mormon
is peewee herman lds
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, but we can always dream.

angel moroni tattoo
A very loose interpretation:


















did thomas s monson really give the tabbed collar talk
Hahahahahaha. No.

are mormans allowed to use a urinal
Only the males.

are sware words a leagle would you get in gail for any of them
Honestly, I think you’re more likely to go to jail for your spelling than for cussing.

gorgeous young mormon men
Here.

majestic handsome men
Here.

the ultimate mormon male
Here.

how to get a mormon man in bed
Marry him. Boom.

something should be done about queers and lesbians
Yeah. Let’s do something.

mormon men are very sweet
Yeah, but...

mormon men are passive agrressive
There it is.

why do lds guys go bald so fast
I think it has something to do with asking for donations for "Friends of Scouting."

sweetchuck
Sweetchuck!

you are an ass
Numbers 22: 28-30.

girls stretching to attract boys
I knew it!

+why are the mormon men staring at me
Well you’re stretching right in front of them!

can morman man be in a car alone with a woman?
Yes, as long as it’s not a Ford. Henry Ford was an anti-Mormon.

do mormon men paint their nails
It's secret (sacred?) and we're not supposed to talk about it.

how to make morman teenger to like you??
Gosh, I hope you’re also a teenager.

how to wear an ascot
There is only one way.

is it okay to date a married mormon man
Do you really need Google to figure this one out?

mormon marinate
Oh, gross. C’mon, guys!

lose weight with the word of wisdom
A worthy goal.

losing weight to dunk a basketball
An even worthier goal.

some church callings suck
Only the scouts, nursery, early morning seminary, and bishopric. Maybe a few others.

why do mormon men have so much sex
Three words: Multiply and replenish.

Sometimes I don’t have anything clever to say, but I want to share them anyway... because they are beautiful.
i'm mormon but i not sure about it
stop husband watch movies with cursing
help, i just got called as a counselor in the bishopric
i want to be a mormon but i'm gay
boring general konferenz 2012
i'm lds and i like my home teacher

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