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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Various Bogs and Spiritual Mire. Also, God Wants You to Coupon.

by Bishop Higgins (bio)

So often in our lives we get bogged down with sin and bogs and responsibility and mindless errands and errands of great import and errands to Pier 1 Imports and so many things with varying degree of importance.

And it's good to remember, that through all of this, God wants us to be happy and he wants us to stop wearing those fancy track suits to the mall, and he always wants us to pray to him and he wants us to get a good value on so many of the things we buy. Beans. Corn. Whey. If we can get these at a discount, God will be happy. And he wants to know why we even need whey. So do I. I have no idea what that is for.

Couponing is good, but not necessary to be able to enter the celestial kingdom. Comfortable shoes are important, too, but again, not necessary to enter the kingdom. In fact, so many people in the world don't even have shoes. And do you know some people are pack rats. I know a guy that never took down his Christmas lights because he had no place to put them once they were down. I was personally disgusted. This was before I was bishop, back when I was way more judgmental about others than I am now.

I also knew a guy that saved his pizza crust in jars and would eat them later as snacks. I did not judge him because I met him when I was bishop. Now, I'm so good at NOT judging people. I'm also good at Foosball. And I can also nod and act like I'm listening when instead, I'm singing Bruce Hornsby songs in my head.

See what I mean get about getting bogged down.

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