by Seattle Jon (bio)
Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon humor dictionary from Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here. Reproduced with permission from Signature Books.
Keys Something that only prophets, apostles, and meetinghouse custodians are permitted to have.
Kimball, J. Golden A legendary General Authority whose irreverence and profanity were a constant delight to the Saints and a constant embarrassment to the Brethren. The Saints loved him because he didn't seem to be pretending to be something he wasn't; the Brethren were annoyed at him because they didn't understand the words.
Kingdom, The In the old days, the Saints thought the kingdom of God would fill the whole world through their sacrifice, hard work, cooperation, charity, and righteousness. That didn't work, so now we're just going to buy all the land.
Knowledge The ultimate level of certainty, much stronger than faith, It means that you have had faith in something so long that you can't remember even thinking about it and you certainly don't intend to start now.
Kolob The star or planet "nigh unto the throne of God." Also an investment company, a pharmacy, a petroleum firm, a real estate office, and an insurance agency.