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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Saintspeak 11: The Letter I

by Seattle Jon (bio)

Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon humor dictionary from Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here. Reproduced with permission from Signature Books.

Inheritance A permanent stewardship. For instance, the inheritance of the meek is the earth. Mineral and water rights, however, will be retained by a church holding company named Bonneville or Deseret or Zion's.

Inspired Version The popular name for an edition of the Bible that includes sections of Joseph Smith's inspired revisions of the Bible and Joseph Smith's marginal annotations. In doctrinal arguments, always remember that if you can't find a certain doctrine in the Bible, you can always claim you read it in the inspired version.

Instructor In a priesthood quorum, the referee.

Investigator Someone who suspects there are exciting, powerful truths in the gospel somewhere, despite the missionaries' best efforts to stick to the discussions.

Iron rod In Lehi's vision, the figure for the word of God. In the fog of ignorance and error, the iron rod leads straight to the tree of life. Of course, the iron rod also leads directly away from the tree, depending on which way you follow it.

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