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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Brief Twitter History Of The Author - 2009

by brettmerritt (bio)

I started tweeting in 2007. Back then most of us didn't have a clue what it was, what to do, or that it would grow into what it is today. Still, many of you aren't on Twitter. I find that amazing. It's your choice I suppose.

You should know, however, that it can be really useful like to keep up on breaking news. For me it's sports, religion, comedy, politics and trends in my industry. Still, there's the fun side of it too. Here, for your reading pleasure, are my best tweets from 2009.

  •  20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth. While 75% think the Earth revolves around them.
  • You know it's your first subpoena when you tell the guy, "Oh, you can't find the address? I'll come to you."
  • Pretty sure most Geneva Rock truck drivers are former murderers.
  • Foop is an acceptable alternative to the word shart. I may have just taught this to my daughter. Also, I am a horrible person.
  • Recent words I absolutely hate and hear all the time now for some reason: Noshing and Kanye.
  • Texting with the iPhone while driving is so difficult it should be illegal.
  • My 5 yo daughter just told me that what I said was inappropriate. Shen then proceeded to pick her nose and eat it.
  • Old Tippecanoe 2: The Presidency #videogamesiregretbuying
  • To the grammar police, thanks for making the Internet more safers.
  • I'm not taking a Mormon's stance on health care (Hatch) so I'm leaning toward a Mormon's stance on health care (Reid). 
  • I think it would be really awkward if someone said, "I'm a hands-on kind of uncle."
  • Anyone know where I can find a real barber in #Provo ? You know, the kind that does leeches and blood letting ...
  • Me: "That Michael Jackson movie is playing." Wife: "I don't want to see Michael Jackson's face on my birthday."

2010's installment will be coming soon. Until then, feel free to follow me on Twitter. My handle is @thebrettmerritt.

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