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Monday, June 20, 2011

Saintspeak 3: The Letter B

by Seattle Jon (bio)

Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon dictionary from writer Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here.

The Letter B

Baptism by Fire - what happens when a convert is put in charge of the nursery.

Baptism for the Dead - it wins them neither fame nor profit, yet mormons will travel hundreds of miles at great expense in order to give to people they do not know a gift that might not be accepted.

Beehives - twelve and thirteen year-old girls in young women (ask your local Beehive teacher whether the beehive was chosen as their symbol because of their cooperation, their buzz, or their sting).

Bishop - in seminary films, the bishop is the man who has the solution to all problems in life. In his own home, the bishop is the man who used to be daddy before mommy became a single parent.

Blood Atonement - a doctrine that was never taught in the Church, especially by Jedediah M. Grant.

Bureaucracy - a term never used to describe the elaborate system of offices and organizations that provide logistical support for church programs and govern the vast properties, holdings, and operations of the church. So, when you run into computer foul-ups, abrupt secretaries, and baffling regulations, remember that there are no bureaucrats in the church, only dedicated servants of the lord with health insurance and a church office building parking sticker.

Burning in the Bosom - how the spirit will tell you whether the church is true or the pretty girl across from you in religion class is the one you're foreordained to marry.

BYU - the cultural and intellectual center of the mormon church, where professors who have sacrificed salary and tenure teach students who are there to get married.

Signature Books: here
Wikipedia (Orson Scott Card): here
Image via Signature Books

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