by Seattle Jon (bio)
Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon humor dictionary from Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here. Reproduced with permission from Signature Books.

Last Days The terrible time when Mormons will actually have to eat all that wheat and honey and powdered milk they've been storing all these years.
Laurels What no one in the Church is permitted to rest on.
Laying on of Hands What missionaries are not allowed to do with members of the opposite sex.
Lineage of Cain What black people USED to have that kept them from being able to hold the priesthood or get married in the temple.
Loud Laughter Something to be avoided except when a General Authority makes a joke during a talk.