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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Saintspeak 7: The Letter E

by Seattle Jon (bio)

Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon humor dictionary from Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here. Reproduced with permission from Signature Books.

Endowment A dramatic ritual performed in the temple by and for the living and the dead. Since a large number of Saints find it nearly impossible to stay awake through an entire ceremony, they are encouraged to repeat the endowment again and again, until they can do it in their sleep.

Ensign The official church magazine, often called the "fifth standard work," since every issue is received through the urim and thummim.

Eternal Companion On your mission, any companion you have been with for more than two months; one month, if the companion snores. After your mission, the person who takes up two-thirds of the bed, leaves shoes all over the house, and puts away the vital papers that you keep in twenty-nine neat stacks on the bedroom floor.

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