by Seattle Jon (bio)
Another installment from Saintspeak

Ensign The official church magazine, often called the "fifth standard work," since every issue is received through the urim and thummim.
Eternal Companion On your mission, any companion you have been with for more than two months; one month, if the companion snores. After your mission, the person who takes up two-thirds of the bed, leaves shoes all over the house, and puts away the vital papers that you keep in twenty-nine neat stacks on the bedroom floor.