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Friday, December 30, 2011

Saintspeak 5: Conservative Mormon

by Seattle Jon (bio)

Another installment from Saintspeak, the mormon humor dictionary from Orson Scott Card. Previous installments can be found here.

Reproduced with permission from Signature Books

Conservative Mormon

1. As perceived by a liberal mormon: someone with a completely closed mind who goes through the motions of obeying church policies without ever understanding the spirit of the gospel. Conservative mormons spout cliches about charity and then devote their lives to crushing out any sign of intelligence or compassion that dares to surface in the church.

2. As perceived by another conservative mormon: someone who is dedicated to serving god in the manner god has prescribed, who therefore tries to keep his own life pure and help purify the church to be worthy of the lord's approval at his second coming. Conservative mormons listen attentively to the words of the brethren and try to do all they are asked to do without presuming to second-guess the lord's chosen servants.

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