MMM Library: How to Hijack a Meeting

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by Dustin:

This post was originally published on December 20, 2011.

Mormons do meetings. Lots of them. Three meetings during Church with break-out meetings during the meetings, meetings before and after the block, meetings during the week ... meetings to coordinate those meetings. There is no end to our gathering and this will likely never change. We are a people who congregates and does so often. This culture of meetings means that we have a higher chance of being well-coordinated. It also means that opportunities are plentiful for meeting-sabotage.

Meeting-sabotage occurs when individuals knowingly or unknowingly take the power in a meeting, often without warning. Meetings are prime territory for power struggles, although in our oftentimes meek Mormon culture, the power usually goes and never returns.

As a career teacher, below are several tricks of the trade that often get deployed in my classes. I haven't yet found effective means for rescuing meetings or classes after these weapons have been discharged, but I enjoy witnessing their skillful use. Whether you are a teacher or student, recognizing these implements and learning how to effectively manage and/or utilize them can yield immense power in the classroom or cultural hall. Use them wisely:

#1 The "Just Real Quick"

This phrase immediately excuses a comment of any length, regardless if it's actually quick or not. Use it to introduce a topic, derail a conversation, or free-flow a monologue. For optimum power combine this move with "I was just going to say" or "I was thinking." For example:

Tami Teacher: "So let's move on to the Beatitudes."
Paul: "Oh, just real quick before we move on ...
Tami: "Oh, uh, yes Paul? Something to add?"
Paul: "I was just going to say that I think there are several reasons why camels wouldn't fit through the eye of a needle, logistically speaking. First ..."

Guest Post: 3 Things I Learned About Mormons on the Grammys

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Last Sunday on the Grammys, we saw Mormon rock band Imagine Dragons make the big time, winning a Grammy and performing on the awards show. In fact, many people have said that their performance was the best one that night, topping some very experienced entertainers. I could tell that from just by looking at the faces in the Grammys' audience—it probably sounded even better in person.

Here's a link to the video of the performance.

Some of you many have noticed that there were a few silent moments in their performance with Kendrick Lamar. These moments weren't because the signal went out—the silences were most likely because Lamar was swearing up a storm, and it was being edited out during the time delay. (These edits are probably why the Deseret news article on Imagine Dragons didn't mention expletives.) "What?" you say, "Mormons agreed to be in an act laced with expletives? On a Sunday? Shouldn't they have walked off stage?"

Helping the Struggling Brethren

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by Kevin Shafer:

Recently, men’s mental health has received substantial research and popular media attention. These reports emphasize that men seek help less often for their problems than women, have few close friends, and tend to externalize their problems through anger, substance abuse, and other problem behaviors. Men often feel they can’t share their problems with others because they are constricted by hyper-masculine norms that tell men they have to be self-reliant and confident in themselves. Not surprisingly, such attitudes hurt men, their families, and the people they most care about.

Although I have no data to support my claim, I think that the men of the Church are doing worse than the average American male when it comes to psychological well-being and lack of help-seeking. In addition to masculine norms, which are seemingly pervasive within church culture, LDS men often face several norms which reduce help-seeking and increase stress, in my view. For one, men are often viewed as the servers, often because of priesthood responsibilities, and rarely the served. Second, LDS culture and interpretations of doctrine tell men that they are to be leaders and American conceptions of leadership exude strength and reliability. Weakness and personal struggle are rarely seen as leadership attributes in our culture. Third, messaging about self-reliance has the potential to be harmful. Fourth, we assume that because someone is in church weekly, performs a calling, etc. that they are "doing fine," and thus, can be somewhat ignored for other concerns. Finally, cultural attitudes about mental health are not particularly healthy within the church. Although I believe that Elder Holland’s October 2013 General Conference address will go a long way to change these unhealthy perceptions of poor mental health, many Mormons still believe that increased prayer, fasting, and faith can cure such ailments. Although I have no doubt that these activities can improve mental health, they rarely cure depression, anxiety, and more serious mental health issues. Obviously, there are many other contributing factors that block help-seeking in LDS men, but these four highlight some of the barriers which exist within church culture.

Manly Design: Type Drawer Figures

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by Scott Heffernan:

I thought this would be a fun series. Stereotypically home decor is largely left up to the ladies, but men have some good ideas too and I think it's time we stepped up. I hope other contributors and guest posters will send in their own Manly Design Tips.

A vintage type drawer filled in with small toy figures—this is hanging on my wall at the bottom of the stairs.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who is nostalgic for their childhood toys. This seemed like a good way to make them into an art piece. Type drawers were used by typesetters to store and sort their font letters. You can find them on eBay or sometimes at garage sales. I got this one for $15 from a garage sale that advertised on Craigslist that they’d be selling drawers. The little compartments are perfect for holding plastic army men. I tried to incorporate a wide variety of figures. I chose to fill the larger slots with G.I. Joe action figures, my favorite toy line growing up.

Makes for good conversation and the kids love it.

Scott Heffernan is an artist, designer, and photographer living in Seattle. He works on the creative team at Archie McPhee, doing all manner of strange things. He grew up a child of the 80s in Salt Lake City and loves skateboarding, toys, and thrifting. He served a mission in England/Wales and has a degree in American Sign Language from the University of Utah. He has one wife and two kids. Twitter: @ScottHeffernan. Tumblr: ScottHeff.tumblr.com.
 Images by Scott Heffernan.

Googling Your Way Through Parenthood

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by Kyle:

Google is one of my best friends. We've laughed together, we've cried together, and it always has the right answers to my most difficult life's questions. I thought I used Google a lot before becoming a father, but in the past 13 months I am constantly seeking knowledge and advice from my trusty friend.

The good news is that because Google basically owns, and probably designed, the Universe, I am not alone in turning to it with all my questions. I am also not alone in looking to Google for answers when it comes to my one-year-old daughter.

In a recent New York Times article Seth Stephens-Davidowitz did some analysis on parent’s Google queries about their young sons and daughters. Here’s a bit about what he found:

• Parents are 2.5 times more likely to search “is my son gifted” than “is my daughter gifted.” For every 10 searches about girls being smart, there are 25 about boys. He notes that there is a similar bias when looking across other search terms relating to intelligence. (There are also more searches asking if a son is “stupid” than the same about daughters)

MMM Library: Modern Mormon Motivational Poster 2

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by A-Dub:

"You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles." - Miracle Max, Princess Bride

A-Dub currently lives in Portland, Oregon, but grew up in the Midwest. After a mission to Argentina and a degree from BYU, Aaron received an MBA from the University of Washington. Consequently, he is a data-driven corporate sellout who thinks the government should generally mind its own business. A lifelong Mormon and former counselor in a bishopric, Aaron feels that the eccentricities of Mormon culture should be made fun of as much as possible, that the main point of the gospel is to be like Christ and help others, and suspects that – whether openly or covertly – everyone likes Neil Diamond. He and his amazing wife have two boys.

Guest Post: How Would You Have Answered This Investigator’s Question?

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Last week I was invited by the missionaries in my ward to join them as they met with an investigator. The lesson was about the Word of Wisdom. The lesson went well. The investigator had some great insights and great questions, which we answered to the best of our ability. But our friend was confused about the alcohol part. If Jesus drank wine, she wondered, how could alcohol consumption be a sin? We explained that the prohibition of alcohol wasn't a commandment back then, but it was now. And this is where she asked a question that none of us had a good answer for.

She said that if God is eternal and has been the same forever and ever, and if time is meaningless to God, it would make sense for him to be in any situation in any period of [our] time and still be sinless and blameless. Were that not the case, he would cease to be the perfect God that we know him to be. She said that it didn't make sense that Jesus would be a sinner if he were here with us today, but by our definition, he would be a sinner because he has drunk wine.

That's an interesting point that I had never really thought of before, and I felt that none of our answers were very satisfactory.

One of the missionaries replied that he didn't know if what he was about to say was true or not (rarely a good sign in a church setting), but that he heard that the wine they used back in the day was really just grape juice. I reminded him that there are instances in just about every book of scripture we have of people getting drunk from wine. You don't get drunk off of grape juice.