Religious Liberty Mingled with Discrimination

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by Kyle:

I want to take 38 seconds and applaud the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for their support of laws that would protect LGBT people from discrimination in areas of housing, employment, and services. This is a good step in the right direction to not only do the right thing, but also to repair relationships with the LGBT community and allies.

I said 38 seconds because that is the time I calculated that was spent in actual support of non-discrimination laws during the 19:43 long "news conference."

Unfortunately, the Church’s support rings hollow. Nowhere in this "news conference" was any real concern expressed for the LGBT community and the persecution they continue to face today (except for maybe 6 seconds when Sister Neill F. Marriott acknowledged that there have been centuries of persecution and violence against homosexuals).

A Response to Bishop Mark Paredes

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by Kyle:

Hey Bishop Mark Paredes,

I’m not gonna lie, your article over at Jewish Journal was not cool. Like really not cool. Like “omg I can’t believe a bishop actually wrote this and thought it was a good idea to put it on the internet” not cool.

But that’s okay. I believe we all make mistakes, and we can more often than not fix those mistakes. And as a Democrat I believe that you’re just so incredibly wrong. But what I want to tell you is not how wrong you are about Harry Reid (I mean…do you even know him?), or how wrong you are about the Democratic Party (again, terribly wrong), but how wrong you are as a bishop.

You see, Mark, you’re a man with religious authority and responsibility. You oversee the saints in your ward, and you have authority over them. You have used your position in the church to spew some pretty harmful words that will put you at odds with your congregation. And by so doing, I believe you have tainted the very calling in which you serve.

GIF Out the Vote

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by Kyle:

If you live in the U.S. then you probably know that today is Election Day. If you don't know it's probably because you live in a very red or blue state and have zero campaign ads on your TV. You lucky jerks.

I love Election Day. Not just because I work for political campaigns, but because it's the one day every two years where we get to overthrow the government, or bolster your party's influence, depending on what side you're voting for.

I'm not going to write a long post about the teachings of church leaders as to why you should exercise your right to vote. Or about how important being a part of the democratic process is to making sure Joseph Smith's prophesy about the constitution hanging by a thread and the only people who can save it are us Mormons comes to past. I'll just simply say:

This stuff is important. Federal, state, and local all have major impacts on your life.

So please. Go *vote. Don't know where your polling place is? Find out here.

If you still need a little extra motivation to go vote, then perhaps this GIF Out the Vote will help.

You don't have to be a genius to vote (but seriously, it helps if you read even just a little about the candidates and ballot measures before you vote).

Don't Edit Me, Bro!

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by Kyle:

This past General Conference gave plenty for people* to buzz about. Whether it was speakers delivering their talks in their native language or the first black woman praying in the Women's Session. And even the Women's Session being referred to as part of the whole General Conference rather than a separate meeting.

Unfortunately it appears as though the Church has taken some action in order to walk that last point back a bit.

First, let's see how this all got started. At the beginning of the Women's Session on September 27, 2014, President Uchtdorf opened his talk to the women of the Church by saying:

"My beloved sisters, my dear friends and blessed disciples of Jesus Christ, I am honored to have this opportunity to be with you as we open another general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In the coming week the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles will meet with all the General Authorities and general auxiliary leaders, and the remaining sessions of our worldwide general conference will follow on the coming Saturday and Sunday" (emphasis added).

From his remarks it is pretty clear that he considers the Women's Session the first session of General Conference. This brought much joy to many women of the church as it has been long debated whether the Women's Session (until recently the Relief Society Session and the Young Women's Session) actually was a part of General Conference, or if it was just its own meeting.

7 Religious Stock Photos That Make You Go Hmmm: 2nd Amendment Edition

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by Kyle:

Due to popular* demand I bring you the second installment of the crazy, the whacky, and the awesome that religious stock photography has to offer. (See the first one here.) This time a little faith mingled with the 2nd Amendment, because…

'Merica!

#166219986 / gettyimages.com

Do you hang both of these above your bed or keep them somewhere easily accessible?

#184858365 / gettyimages.com

MMM Library: Is Tithing the Same as Giving to Charity?

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by Kyle:

On [the August 15, 2012] episode of NBC’s Rock Center with Brian Williams, reporter Natalie Morales interviewed Ann Romney, wife of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. You can see the interview here.

During the course of the interview the questions turned to the campaign, and to their refusal to release additional tax returns to the public. At the conclusion of her reasons for not releasing additional tax returns, she said that they pay their taxes, and added “beyond paying our taxes we give ten percent of our income to charity.” I know the Romney’s have given a great amount to various charitable organizations outside of the LDS community, but this sparked in my mind a debate: is paying tithing the same as donating money to charity?

RIP Big Tent Mormonism

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by Kyle:

Dearly Beloved,

We gather here today to mourn the passing of Big Tent Mormonism. It lived a short life, but a life with much impact on the lives of the saints who needed it the most. Big Tent Mormonism was born on that October morning in 2013 when Dieter F. Uchtdorf stood at the grand pulpit in the midst of the Conference Center and proclaimed, without a single airplane analogy, that there is room for you. That despite your doubts, despite your lack of faith, and despite yours and other's imperfections, there is room for you in this church.

Well, that lasted long.

Big Tent Mormonism was pronounced dead last week with the announcement that John Dehlin of Mormon Stories, and Kate Kelly of Ordain Women both received notice that they would be facing a church disciplinary court and face possible excommunication. By now I probably don't have to tell you why this is happening, but in case you have Comcast and your internet has been out for a while you can read about it here, here, here, and here.

What I do want to tell you is that John Dehlin and Kate Kelly have both been inspirational to me in my ongoing faith journey. And that their example of asking hard questions and still embracing Mormonism in their own way has been key to my own struggles with church history and doctrine.

But to me their impending church disciplinary hearings, and as everyone is speculating their eventual excommunications, have only shown me that the idea that we can stand together as Mormons with a wide spectrum of faith has come to an end.

However, the idea of Big Tent Mormonism doesn't have to die, despite the fear and sorrow that these potential excommunications have caused. Big Tent Mormonism can continue in our homes, where different ideas can be discussed with love and understanding. It can continue in our quorum and auxiliary meetings where teachers and leaders can allow for the discussion of doubts and troubling issues. It can continue in the offices of Bishops where empathy, understanding and true charity is extended, and not simply referenced as kind words in a disciplinary form letter.

Big Tent Mormonism can continue if we, the members, allow it to. I hope we do. I hope the tent continues to expand and can help heal the wounds that are left. Let's give Big Tent Mormonism some CPR.


Kyle works in Democratic politics, yet somehow his bishop still lets him participate in church activities. He hails from Washington DC, but is embarking on a year of living in Salt Lake City and being a stay-at-home dad, while his amazing wife brings home the bacon. Actual bacon. No, seriously, she works across the street from a grocery store. It's delicious. Kyle's Mormon street cred comes from the fact that he is the youngest of seven children and is only five years older than his niece. Twitter: @KJinSLC.
Image credit: Scott Heffernan (used with permission).

Civil Government Mingled With Prayer

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by Kyle:

This week, the U.S. Supreme Court handed down their ruling in Greece v Galloway, a case dealing with a city council opening its legislative meetings with prayer. In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled that the town of Greece, NY did not violate the First Amendment’s prohibition of an establishment of religion when it allowed residents to give an invocation at the start of its monthly meetings.

You’re probably thinking, “But wait, haven’t towns, states, and even Congress itself been opening meetings with prayer since like that Washington guy?”

The answer is yes, but just because we’ve been doing something for a long time, doesn’t mean that we should keep doing it.

Unfortunately Justice Kennedy doesn’t agree with me, which is fine, because you know he’s like a ton smarter than I am. In his opinion for the majority Kennedy wrote:

From the earliest days of the Nation, these invocations have been addressed to assemblies comprising many different creeds.

These ceremonial prayers strive for the idea that people of many faiths may be united in a community of tolerance and devotion.

7 Religious Stock Photos That Make You Go Hmmm

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by Kyle:

I love photography. I love how it can tell an entire story in a single image. How it can capture a moment that happened in a split second and preserve it forever. I could go on and on about the wonders of photography, but that's not what this post is about. This is about how sometimes, that story in a single image, or that split second moment in time can be a little ... off. Maybe their message is just lost in translation. Or it's a little creepy. Or even just down right "wut?" It is in that spirit that I've searched GettyImages to bring you the best fails in religious stock photography. You're welcome.

---

Let's just say that a certain religious video presentation could be enhanced with this version of Adam and Eve ...

#85636412 / gettyimages.com

This is the thing that my nightmares are made of. When I was a young kid I remember visiting the Church Office Building. In the lobby at the time, they had a giant painting of President Benson. As we walked past this giant painting the eyes on President Benson followed me. Just to be sure, I walked backwards, and yup the eyes followed. It has haunted me to this day ...

#200474111-003 / gettyimages.com

There's nothing religious about this at all other than this caterpillar is called the Common Mormon. Its mimicking bird poop. Seriously. That's what it's doing.

#476856997 / gettyimages.com

Creepy Uncle Lloyd calling from prison. The other inmates made him wear the halo and wings. He doesn't want to talk about it.

#468877621 / gettyimages.com

Um ... okay, well this is embarrassing. The Apostle Peter tried this once and it didn't work out so well for him, but this lady seems to have the whole faith-to-walk-on-water thing down pretty good.

#479631835 / gettyimages.com

High-five for Jesus!

#102102584 / gettyimages.com

Assassin's Creed or praying monk ... you decide.

#467638101 / gettyimages.com

LOL at Sexual Assault

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by Kyle:

Twitter is a great place. I say “place” as if it is somewhere that I actually hang out, and if you were to ask my wife she’d probably say I “hang out” there a lot. It’s a great place for news, sharing ideas, and cat pictures. The thing I love most about Twitter is the ability to share news, ideas, and cat pictures with people you normally wouldn’t have access to. One of my proudest Twitter moments is that time I got Chuck Todd’s attention right before a live broadcast.

With all the great things about Twitter, there are also the dark sides. Over the past few weeks there’s been some trouble terrorizing female BYU students. That trouble is a serial groper—a guy wearing a hoodie jogging around campus groping women as they pass by. The first incident was reported on January 23 with the most recent reported March 19. So far, the person(s) behind the groping have not been caught.

If this wasn’t a big enough problem by itself, the reports of the serial groper have caused an additional problem. In the last couple of weeks two Twitter accounts have popped up in an attempt to parody and even glorify this sexual predator. Now I love a good parody account. When done correctly and done well they are not only hilarious but add to the conversation of whatever they happen to be mimicking. These parody accounts, however, are nowhere near what is acceptable. @BYUgroper and @TheREALGroper are taking a sexual predator and attempting to make it cool, funny, and really no big deal at all. Here's just a few of their tweets.

I should have shouted out my 14th tweet to the 14 grope victims, guess I'll have to get 6 more tonight to catch up😝
— TheREALGroper (@TheSerialGroper) March 21, 2014

Googling Your Way Through Parenthood

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by Kyle:

Google is one of my best friends. We've laughed together, we've cried together, and it always has the right answers to my most difficult life's questions. I thought I used Google a lot before becoming a father, but in the past 13 months I am constantly seeking knowledge and advice from my trusty friend.

The good news is that because Google basically owns, and probably designed, the Universe, I am not alone in turning to it with all my questions. I am also not alone in looking to Google for answers when it comes to my one-year-old daughter.

In a recent New York Times article Seth Stephens-Davidowitz did some analysis on parent’s Google queries about their young sons and daughters. Here’s a bit about what he found:

• Parents are 2.5 times more likely to search “is my son gifted” than “is my daughter gifted.” For every 10 searches about girls being smart, there are 25 about boys. He notes that there is a similar bias when looking across other search terms relating to intelligence. (There are also more searches asking if a son is “stupid” than the same about daughters)

We Didn't Start The Fire

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by Kyle:

We're taught that "if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." It's one of those verses that I rarely think about, that is until its too late …

There I was just minding my own business just after midnight, engaged in a pleasant battle of Call of Duty, when my apartment building's fire alarm starts blaring. Now of course I had the same reaction as 97% of the rest of the world when they hear a fire alarm: "Honey, where's the remote, I can't hear the TV."

Luckily my wife went to open our front door to look out into the hallway, and that's when we realized we might want to take this seriously. There was smoke in the hallway. Not billowing smoke, but just enough to make it a bit hazy. And it tasted like burning.

That set off our internal fire alarms, also known as panic. My wife dashes to our daughter's bedroom to wake her and bundle her up for the inevitable standing outside in the cold. I stood there in the middle of our living room trying to think of what to do.

"I should probably put on some pants," I thought to myself. Yes, pants, good idea! What do I grab now? The Xbox? Should I pause my game, or just turn it off? No, not the Xbox, idiot. Grab the seven seasons of West Wing DVDs! No, no that's not practical. The confusion in my mind gave my wife ample time to return to the living room to find me still pantless, to which she suggested I get dressed and grab our laptops (because literally our entire lives are on them) and get the baby stroller and get out of here.

Manly Recipes: Bacon Jam

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by Kyle:

You may remember that last month MMM put out a reader survey, which hopefully you all participated in because MMM is awesome, right? After looking over some of the responses, there was one, seriously, only one, that responded that they'd like to see more "manly recipes." So, my lone friend, I am here for you.

I love to cook. I'm not saying that I could win a season of MasterChef, but I enjoy cooking when things don't catch on fire. I also, like every good and worthy man, love bacon. A few years back a friend gave me 10 pounds, TEN POUNDS, of bacon as a Christmas gift (bless him). With more bacon than I knew what to do with, I scoured the internet (the first page of a Google search) for interesting ways to use the bacon. That's when I came across Bacon Jam.

If you haven't had Bacon Jam then you haven't heard Shakespeare the way it was meant to be played, that is, if Shakespeare was bacon. To start you on your journey to tastebud exaltation, here's what you'll need:

• 2 lbs. bacon, cut into one inch pieces prior to cooking
• 3 cloves of garlic, peeled and smashed
• 1 large yellow onion, diced
• ½ cup pure maple syrup. Now I'm not talking about Mrs. Butterworth or Aunt Jemima here. You need pure maple syrup, only the good stuff.
• ½ cup cider vinegar
• ½ cup brown sugar

If you have a dutch oven, it's perfect for cooking Bacon Jam, if not you'll need a large pot and a frying pan.

Start by browning your bacon. Be sure not to completely crispify it, as you want it to continue to cook with all the other ingredients. Once done transfer your bacon to a paper towel and drain off the bacon grease, leaving about 2 tablespoons. Keep the rest of the bacon grease, you'll use it later.

In the leftover bacon grease in your pan, cook your diced onions and smashed garlic. Cook until onions are translucent. When the onions are nice and soft, add in the vinegar, brown sugar, and maple syrup, bringing to a boil, scraping off any bits on the bottom of your pan. (If you're not using a dutch oven, you'll want to transfer everything to larger pot for simmering.) Add in as much of the remaining bacon grease as you'd like. You can go all-in, or just add in another few spoonfuls, but remember this isn't a diet recipe, and bacon grease is all flavor, all the time.

The Things We Say

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by Kyle (bio)

A couple weeks ago in our ward, my wife was attending the Gospel Principles class where the topic of that week's lesson was on the the law of chastity and the atonement. I was not in the class; I was pacing the halls with my nine-month-old daughter trying to get her to sleep. But when the class was over my wife told me about the lesson.

The brother teaching the class said something during his discussion of the atonement that caused her to raise an eyebrow. What he said is something I've heard other people say before too, which to me means it's a saying that has been around for a while.

The teacher said: "I'd rather have my son come home in a coffin, than for him to lose his virtue on his mission."

Think about that for a second. This person, and those who've repeated it, if given the choice between death or sin for their child, would choose death.

I'm not saying the law of chastity isn't serious, but death? Really? Your own child, dead?

Here's why this one matters.

The Saratov Approach

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In 1998, two Mormon missionaries were kidnapped and held for ransom in Saratov, Russia. The Saratov Approach opens in Utah theaters October 9th. Watch the trailer and visit the Facebook page.

Recently the MMM team was given the opportunity to view an advanced screening of The Saratov Approach. Here are our reviews.

Scott Hales
Mormon cinema, like Mormon literature, doesn't have a great reputation. Sometimes it surprises us with a really fantastic film, like Napoleon Dynamite or Brigham City or Saints and Soldiers, but most of the time that's not the case. Most of the time we get a comedy or a pioneer movie that seems like a roadshow with a budget. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but to be honest, I've been a little underwhelmed by a lot of recent Mormon films.

When I got the chance to preview The Saratov Approach, a recent film about the real-life 1998 kidnappings of two missionaries in Russia, I worried that it would leave me underwhelmed as well--despite its compelling premise and fantastic trailer. I'm happy to report, though, that The Saratov Approach gives me hope in the future of Mormon cinema. Like the best Mormon films, it strikes a nice balance between the gritty and the uplifting. It testifies of gospel principles without detracting from the realities that make life challenging for peoples and communities. It also reminds us that life is the outcome of an ongoing chain of choices that asks us what kind of person we want to be. In this film, we get characters--kidnappers--who make terrible choices even though they are initially motivated by righteous desires. We also get Missionaries who struggle to be Christ-like to their captors when every instinct seems to compel them to do otherwise.

Mormon films like The Saratov Approach are not made very often. However, when they are, they remind us of the great things that can happen when we take ourselves, our stories, and our faith seriously.

Kyle
Whenever I hear about a "Mormon movie" I groan and roll my eyes, and with good reason. The catalog of Mormon-themed movies isn't exactly spectacular/award-winning and leaves much to be desired in both script and production quality. So, when I sat down to watch this movie, I braced myself for another eye-rolling experience. I couldn't have been more wrong.

There's Gold In Them There Hills

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by Kyle (bio)

I've recently been on this kick of watching these gold digging shows. Mainly Gold Rush from Discovery Channel. The show is about this father/son team that gets together with their down-on-their-luck friends and decide that digging for gold in Alaska will solve all their financial woes.

Side note: A lot of the guys in the show have epic beards that are very inspiring for MMM's Beardliness is Next to Godliness challenge. (going on now, you can still enter)

When talking about this show with others, I've come across a story about a gold mine right here in Utah: The Lost Rhoades Mine. Ever wonder where the gold for the Angel Moroni statue came from? Well me neither, but you're about to find out. It's a tale of drugs, money, secrets, visions and murder! Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun.

The story goes (according to Kerry Ross Boren and Lisa Lee Boren, authors of The Gold of Carre-Shinob) that the Aztecs took a large stash of their gold north through Mexico to save it from being captured by Cortez, because it turns out Cortez wasn't so much a white-bearded god as he was a giant a-hole. They hid it in a place where they believed their ancestors came from: you guessed it, the Uintah mountains in good ol' Utah. The Ute Indians kept it safe and hidden--that is, until the Mormons showed up. After a smoke or two on the peace pipe (this is the drugs part) with Brigham Young, the Ute chief decided he wanted to show the gold to one Mormon, Isaac Morley. The chief later told Bro. Morley that he once saw Morley in a vision and his gods had told him that Morley would be the one to be shown the sacred gold mine.

Bro. Morley convinced the chief to let him take the gold to Brigham Young. BY promised the chief he would use it for sacred purposes including the decoration of the temple and a statue for the top, like a big golden cake-topper. BY wanted to keep the gold under wraps (for obvi reasons) and, with the chief, decided that only Bro. Morley would know where the mine was located. When Bro. Morley became too old, the calling of a lifetime fell to the eponymous Thomas Rhoades (why can't I get a calling like this?).

How to Get a Girl to Fall in Love With You According to The Bachelorette

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by Kyle (bio)

I saw this blog post, Letter to my daughter after watching 'The Bachelor', making the rounds a few weeks ago. A friend sent it to me saying that they could see me writing this to my daughter. And of course, I totally would. But someone else has already done the hard work so I'll just show it to her instead.

If you are unaware of The Bachelor/Bachelorette phenomenon, here's the quick version: A group of guys/girls all get together in a large house to compete to fall in love with a single guy/girl. As the show progresses, the guy/girl searching for love on TV eliminates contestants, whittling down the group until there are only two remaining and they must then choose who they want to marry. Awesome, right?

Now I totally agree with everything that is said in the post about The Bachelor, and there are some seriously wrong messages that this show is teaching to both boys and girls. However, I think there are some valuable lessons that any guy can be learn by watching the show. And believe me when I say this: I watch The Bachelorette so you don't have to.

So, after my extensive "research" into this subject, I give you: How to Get a Girl to Fall in Love With You According to The Bachelorette.

Bro Tip #1: V-necks

These are a must. It is clear from watching the bros on the current season of The Bachelorette, that a v-neck is a necessity to any bro's wardrobe. The best part is, you can never own too many v-necks. And you know how some women can be concerned that they might show up to a party ... err ... an FHE, and hope she isn't wearing the same dress or blouse as another woman? Well, while this may not be as big of a concern for a lot of guys, you DEFINITELY don't have to worry about it when it comes to v-necks.

Guest Post: Is Tithing the Same as Giving to Charity?

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Have something to say? Anyone can submit a guest post to Modern Mormon Men. Send us an email with your post, a post title and a paragraph of introduction (on yourself).

Kyle Jarrett lives and works in Washington DC with his wife and two kids - Xbox controller #1 and Xbox controller #2. He graduated from the University of Utah and is currently a grad student at American University. His day job is in Democratic politics, please save your groans for later. In his spare time he enjoys hanging out with his two kids, playing golf with his wife, and eating copious amounts of Cheetos.

On last Thursday’s episode of NBC’s Rock Center with Brian Williams, reporter Natalie Morales interviewed Ann Romney, wife of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. You can see the interview here.

During the course of the interview the questions turned to the campaign, and to their refusal to release additional tax returns to the public. At the conclusion of her reasons for not releasing additional tax returns, she said that they pay their taxes, and added “beyond paying our taxes we give ten percent of our income to charity.” I know the Romney’s have given a great amount to various charitable organizations outside of the LDS community, but this sparked in my mind a debate: is paying tithing the same as donating money to charity?

To me, no, not even close.

Is tithing tax deductible as a charitable donation? Yes, but I would argue that, in general, tithe payers are not writing their tithing checks as a charitable gift (I pay mine online, are checks still a thing?). The Law of Tithing is a religious commandment of obedience and sacrifice. It is in place to not only show the faithfulness of the members, but also as one of the main monetary resources the church has to help build the Kingdom of God.

Former president of the church, Gordon B. Hinckley, said “Our major source of revenue is the ancient law of the tithe. Our people are expected to pay 10 percent of their income to move forward the work of the Church.” (emphasis added) (source: Mormon.org)

It is the expectation that fully active members pay ten percent of their income to the church that excludes it from being actual charity. Members of the church are required to be full tithe payers in order to participate in temple ceremonies and to hold specific callings in the church.

On the other hand, paying a fast offering is specifically designed as a charitable contribution to help those who are in need. But tithing and fast offerings are completely separate in both the motivation in giving, and its use.

In my personal experience, the act of paying tithing is not done with the mindset that I am being charitable; rather it is done with the mindset of being obedient. But when I am paying a fast offering, I am in the mindset of knowing this money will help someone else. Thinking of tithing as a charitable contribution actually diminishes the motivation behind writing the check, and demeans the intent of the law.

On a side note, Rock Center with Brian Williams will be airing a segment tonight titled “Mormon in America” so stay tuned for that.