Hope to see some of you this Saturday! - Seattle Jon & Scott Heffernan
Thursday, November 21, 2013
A Man's Burden
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by Eliana
When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband started staring at the wall a lot. Specifically I'd notice him focusing on that top corner of a room where the walls and ceiling meet. First thought? The man was losing his mind.
The real answer? Sudden Onset Responsibility. I just invented this disorder but I can definitely make a case for it being a real, serious, mental condition. The reality that there would be a child in our house, one that we would have to take care of, forever, had worked its way into the inner corridors of my husband's brain.
Part of this was about money: I'd quit my job. Part of it was about history: his mother died before my husband was a year old. Part of it was about being a good guy and wanting to do a good job. A good enough job that it would be hard for our child to grow up to be an artist because he'd have no grief to work through on the dad front.
by Eliana
When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband started staring at the wall a lot. Specifically I'd notice him focusing on that top corner of a room where the walls and ceiling meet. First thought? The man was losing his mind.
The real answer? Sudden Onset Responsibility. I just invented this disorder but I can definitely make a case for it being a real, serious, mental condition. The reality that there would be a child in our house, one that we would have to take care of, forever, had worked its way into the inner corridors of my husband's brain.
Part of this was about money: I'd quit my job. Part of it was about history: his mother died before my husband was a year old. Part of it was about being a good guy and wanting to do a good job. A good enough job that it would be hard for our child to grow up to be an artist because he'd have no grief to work through on the dad front.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Guest Post: Seeds of the Feminine in the Book of Mormon
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For the past year or so, I've been working to produce a graphic novel called iPlates, which is based on a few chapters from the Book of Mormon. (See our Kickstarter here.) Before starting this project, I had thought of the Book of Mormon as having a worldview easily nailed down, but as I studied it for clues on how to structure my story, I suddenly saw the Book of Mormon's worldview popping up all over the map. I was thoroughly confused by this until I remembered my graduate studies in narrative form.
Scriptures fulfill two major functions. First, they give their followers a story to cohere around. Instead of presenting social visions, rules, and knowledge in abstract form, cultures often embed them in stories. The concepts stick better that way. I heard these kinds of stories often when I was spending time in an Alaska Native village. I'd see the village elders (male and female) sitting with the kids, sometimes telling about a shaman’s adventures, sometimes telling about an accident they had survived (such as falling through the ice or breaking down in the middle of nowhere), sometimes telling about the antics of the mythological Raven. The elders were embedding culture and skills in those young minds. Along those same lines, it seems to me that the Jews managed to survive their trials intact at least partially because they had a book full of well-functioning stories to guide them. Similarly, I think, the Book of Mormon has provided the stories Mormons needed to cohere in times of hardship.
For the past year or so, I've been working to produce a graphic novel called iPlates, which is based on a few chapters from the Book of Mormon. (See our Kickstarter here.) Before starting this project, I had thought of the Book of Mormon as having a worldview easily nailed down, but as I studied it for clues on how to structure my story, I suddenly saw the Book of Mormon's worldview popping up all over the map. I was thoroughly confused by this until I remembered my graduate studies in narrative form.
Scriptures fulfill two major functions. First, they give their followers a story to cohere around. Instead of presenting social visions, rules, and knowledge in abstract form, cultures often embed them in stories. The concepts stick better that way. I heard these kinds of stories often when I was spending time in an Alaska Native village. I'd see the village elders (male and female) sitting with the kids, sometimes telling about a shaman’s adventures, sometimes telling about an accident they had survived (such as falling through the ice or breaking down in the middle of nowhere), sometimes telling about the antics of the mythological Raven. The elders were embedding culture and skills in those young minds. Along those same lines, it seems to me that the Jews managed to survive their trials intact at least partially because they had a book full of well-functioning stories to guide them. Similarly, I think, the Book of Mormon has provided the stories Mormons needed to cohere in times of hardship.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
MMM Sermons: Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples
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by Saint Mark:
This is a series of sermons that many Latter-day Saints love and believe. I hope these sermons promote and perfect your faith as they do mine. Read or watch this sermon here, or read previous MMM Sermons.
This is a little-referenced General Conference talk by Elder Gary Stevenson from April 2009 but it resonated with me. My wife and I have had a long-standing discussion regarding the decor of our home. We both grew up in homes that lacked religious iconography but for different reasons. Her family chose to not have pictures of Jesus Christ and my family were atheists and didn't really believe in a Savior. Thus, my wife is not a fan of the Americanized Redeemer adorning the walls of our home while I, on the other hand, feel that I need reminders to "remember Him always" and like for my home to be my family's own mini-temple.
Let the debate begin. As you can imagine, we've had many colorful, intelligent dialogues about this issue. We've compromised by having symbolic images, photographs of trees (the Sacred Grove), pictures of family, and a limited number of LDS Church distribution-type of pictures on our walls.
Not that it necessarily scored me any points in the on-going debate between my wife and me on this issue, but when I heard Elder Stevenson's sermon I smiled a little inside.
by Saint Mark:
This is a little-referenced General Conference talk by Elder Gary Stevenson from April 2009 but it resonated with me. My wife and I have had a long-standing discussion regarding the decor of our home. We both grew up in homes that lacked religious iconography but for different reasons. Her family chose to not have pictures of Jesus Christ and my family were atheists and didn't really believe in a Savior. Thus, my wife is not a fan of the Americanized Redeemer adorning the walls of our home while I, on the other hand, feel that I need reminders to "remember Him always" and like for my home to be my family's own mini-temple.
Let the debate begin. As you can imagine, we've had many colorful, intelligent dialogues about this issue. We've compromised by having symbolic images, photographs of trees (the Sacred Grove), pictures of family, and a limited number of LDS Church distribution-type of pictures on our walls.
Not that it necessarily scored me any points in the on-going debate between my wife and me on this issue, but when I heard Elder Stevenson's sermon I smiled a little inside.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Guest Post: PSAs for Mormon Men
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In response to the WAVE Women’s Service Mission post PSA Campaigns for Men, Modern Mormon Men and WAVE got together for a collaboration.
The LDS community has its own peculiar flavor of rape culture, bolstered by modesty rhetoric taught by church leaders which can run the risk of young people assuming that how a young woman is dressed can lead to sexual assault. You may remember the story coming out of BYU where a male student scolded a female student for what she was wearing on campus. Now, thanks to Modern Mormon Men and Scott Heffernan, there’s a meme for that!
In response to the WAVE Women’s Service Mission post PSA Campaigns for Men, Modern Mormon Men and WAVE got together for a collaboration.
The LDS community has its own peculiar flavor of rape culture, bolstered by modesty rhetoric taught by church leaders which can run the risk of young people assuming that how a young woman is dressed can lead to sexual assault. You may remember the story coming out of BYU where a male student scolded a female student for what she was wearing on campus. Now, thanks to Modern Mormon Men and Scott Heffernan, there’s a meme for that!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Auto/Airline Mechanics, or, When Missionaries Say “I Don’t Know”
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by Shawn Tucker:
Some weeks ago I went out with our local missionaries here in North Carolina. They are both wonderful elders; enthusiastic, full of joy and love and optimism, and eager to help. They asked me to go with them to visit a late twenty-something female ward member. This woman, who I will call Amanda, is currently separated from her husband. During the visit, the missionaries talked about exactly what they should talk about. They asked questions to help Amanda reflect on her faith and her covenants. She has struggled to attend church, so they talked with her about how prayer and scripture study may help this and other aspects of her life.
During the course of the conversation, Amanda mentioned how pleasantly surprised she was at some of her estranged husband's recent efforts. She mentioned how he had recently called "out of the blue" with no other purpose than to talk with her. He also asked her to take him to a medical appointment, and she was glad to help him out. She talked about small yet helpful things he had recently done. I asked her what she thought of all of those efforts, and she commented positively on them. I asked if they seemed unexpected, and when she said yes, I asked if those efforts might represent some sort of risk on his part. She agreed that they did, and then responded enthusiastically to the suggestion that she consider acknowledging to him how much she appreciated his efforts and the risk they represent.
Later in the conversation she talked about her struggles to keep the Word of Wisdom. The missionaries of course commended the value of prayer, fasting and scripture reading. I asked her if these struggles were compounded by the current stress over her marriage. When I asked if those things prohibited by the Word of Wisdom might be a way that she self-soothes, she very strongly agreed. We then had a brief discussion about the problems associated with this self-soothing strategy, and we talked about alternatives.
by Shawn Tucker:
Some weeks ago I went out with our local missionaries here in North Carolina. They are both wonderful elders; enthusiastic, full of joy and love and optimism, and eager to help. They asked me to go with them to visit a late twenty-something female ward member. This woman, who I will call Amanda, is currently separated from her husband. During the visit, the missionaries talked about exactly what they should talk about. They asked questions to help Amanda reflect on her faith and her covenants. She has struggled to attend church, so they talked with her about how prayer and scripture study may help this and other aspects of her life.
During the course of the conversation, Amanda mentioned how pleasantly surprised she was at some of her estranged husband's recent efforts. She mentioned how he had recently called "out of the blue" with no other purpose than to talk with her. He also asked her to take him to a medical appointment, and she was glad to help him out. She talked about small yet helpful things he had recently done. I asked her what she thought of all of those efforts, and she commented positively on them. I asked if they seemed unexpected, and when she said yes, I asked if those efforts might represent some sort of risk on his part. She agreed that they did, and then responded enthusiastically to the suggestion that she consider acknowledging to him how much she appreciated his efforts and the risk they represent.
Later in the conversation she talked about her struggles to keep the Word of Wisdom. The missionaries of course commended the value of prayer, fasting and scripture reading. I asked her if these struggles were compounded by the current stress over her marriage. When I asked if those things prohibited by the Word of Wisdom might be a way that she self-soothes, she very strongly agreed. We then had a brief discussion about the problems associated with this self-soothing strategy, and we talked about alternatives.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Guest Post: On Waiting
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I recently went on a trip with two of my young sons. We went by plane and actually had to change planes on a layover. We rented a car once we got there so we could go to the places we wanted to go and do the things we wanted to do. One of my sons noted at one point during the trip that there was a lot of "waiting" involved. And indeed he was right. On the trip out, we waited for the shuttle bus at the parking lot, at the security gate in the airport, waited to board the first plane, waited to leave the first plane, waited to board the second and de-plane it as well. We waited for the rental car and to check into our hotel. He was right; there was a lot of waiting.
I had a conversation with a co-worker who said he read something that stated that we spend 20% of our lives waiting. I don't know if that is accurate or not. I think it depends on how we define it. There are nights when I "wait" for sleep, sometimes for hours. I don't know if that category of "waiting" was included or not. But certainly we do wait for many things.
Why do we wait? I think we wait for things to happen. We wait for information to be shared. We wait for people to come and be with us. We wait to be entertained. We wait to be able to exchange money for goods and services. We wait for good things to happen and we wait to find out potentially bad news.
When we are in line with others, we are all waiting for the same thing, right? The same movie, the same opportunity to buy yogurt or a shovel, to register our car, to deposit a check or make a withdrawal. What we do while we wait, however, that is completely up to us. And I think it is worth considering that what we choose to do while we wait, sometimes, just sometimes, might be more important than what or who we are waiting for.
I recently went on a trip with two of my young sons. We went by plane and actually had to change planes on a layover. We rented a car once we got there so we could go to the places we wanted to go and do the things we wanted to do. One of my sons noted at one point during the trip that there was a lot of "waiting" involved. And indeed he was right. On the trip out, we waited for the shuttle bus at the parking lot, at the security gate in the airport, waited to board the first plane, waited to leave the first plane, waited to board the second and de-plane it as well. We waited for the rental car and to check into our hotel. He was right; there was a lot of waiting.
I had a conversation with a co-worker who said he read something that stated that we spend 20% of our lives waiting. I don't know if that is accurate or not. I think it depends on how we define it. There are nights when I "wait" for sleep, sometimes for hours. I don't know if that category of "waiting" was included or not. But certainly we do wait for many things.
Why do we wait? I think we wait for things to happen. We wait for information to be shared. We wait for people to come and be with us. We wait to be entertained. We wait to be able to exchange money for goods and services. We wait for good things to happen and we wait to find out potentially bad news.
When we are in line with others, we are all waiting for the same thing, right? The same movie, the same opportunity to buy yogurt or a shovel, to register our car, to deposit a check or make a withdrawal. What we do while we wait, however, that is completely up to us. And I think it is worth considering that what we choose to do while we wait, sometimes, just sometimes, might be more important than what or who we are waiting for.
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